SU_B_39

[i] Hello Ms. [name].
[r] Hello sister [name]. Welcome.
[i] I welcome you here in our association “Humanitarian Solidarity.” Middle East”. I am [name], the first board member who is conducting the dialogue with you, today in the program [Project] Oral History in Europe [Specially Unknown]. Especially from Bochum in Germany, we are today on the sixth, January 6th, 2019, we would like to start our interview with you. To begin, please introduce yourself.
[r] I am [name], of Palestinian origin, but I was born in Syria. I lived in Syria, married and gave birth to my four children in Syria. We were forced to leave Syria by the war.
[i] We will address the issue and talk about it. About your life step by step, but we would like to start with: What did you bring us today, a memory or? I see a book in front of me.
[r] Yes.
[i] Tell us about it.
[r] Yes, I brought a memory with me from Syria, the Holy Quran. The Koran is the dearest thing I have. Alhamdulillah.
[i] Alleluia, Alhamdulillah.
[r] When I read it I feel better and happy.
[i] Alhamdulillah.
[r] It is, Hallelujah, the book of God.
[i] What does this book remind you of?
[r] This reminds me of Syria, days in Syria. To my family, to everything.
[i] Is this the book you always had with you in your home country?
[r] Yes. This is my book that belonged to me in Syria. I have often read it.
[i] Yes, you can’t do without it?
[r] Never.
[i] Should we need it someday? Can you lend it to us, we would put it on display for a week or two?
[r] Yes.
[i] Is that possible?
[r] Yes, that is possible for a short time. But you have to give it back to me.
[i] Sure, I’m happy today that you’re with us today with your conversation, that you opened your heart to us, you want to tell us about yourself and your life, tell me something about yourself, about your childhood. Where were you born?
[r] I was born in Syria.
[i] Your parents too?
[r] My mother was born in Syria. But my father went to Palestine with my grandfather during the war. In 1948 they emigrated from Palestine to Syria.
[i] Yes.
[r] Yes. My father was ten years old when he left Palestine, he always tells us about those days when he left.
[i] Oh.
[r] And how was the war gone [ended?] when the groups left. How tired they were until they established themselves in Syria and came back and my father learned something. Thank God he was a teacher in Syria.
[i] Is your father an academic?
[r] Yes and my mom is educated too. She loves reading very much, hamdulillah. I grew up with four siblings. We girls came first, then the boys, three boys. The father, God prolongs his life, sir, he never made a distinction between a girl or a boy, everyone is with him. He even said, “I love you more.” He loves the girls. Because they are nice, Subhanallah. He raised us hamdulallah very well, we have grown. We got married and we always had a strong relationship with our parents. Always in Syria, the first place. When we are tired, it is the family home, mother home. Father’s abode, the womb, Subhanallah the Great.
[i] Tell us, are you in contact with your parents?
[r] Absolutely, every day. I talk to my parents on the phone when I’m busy sometimes. If I haven’t spoken to her for two or three days, I get restless, don’t I? We talk to each other, I miss going there.
[i] With your siblings or with your father?
[r] With my father and siblings. And my mother.
[i] Your mother is still alive?
[r] Yes.
[i] May God let them live long.
[r] Amine. I definitely have my relationship with my sister, we always talk on the phone. And my brother, I haven’t been able to see her for seven years. I didn’t see my father and mother.
[i] Yes?
[r] Not at all. And it is not in my hands that I can see them.
[i] Yes.
[r] But that’s the thing that makes me very sad. My parents are alive and I can’t see them. The war.
[i] Yes.
[r] The war, Hamdullah. If God wills it, I hope forward [for the future?] that I will see her again.
[i] I really hope so.
[r] The situation is getting better and I can see it.
[i] You can’t see your family back home? But your family that you brought with you?
[r] Yes sure, Hamdullah Rab Alalamin. After a long suffering, my husband and children, Hamdullah, were able to be together again after being apart for some time. Together like thousands of Syrian families who were apart. Thank God. We’re lucky, we’re together again.
[i] Merged.
[r] Thank God and everyone is fine.
[i] I want to go back to Syria and talk about the topic. Where you grew up, you lived in a family. Educated, academic, dad was a teacher and mom loves reading, you have sisters and brothers, a happy family.
[r] Hamdulallah.
[i] Tell us something about your youth, did you learn [anything]?
[r] Yes, Hamdellah. I was in UNRWA from first grade to sixth grade, which are schools that run for the Palestinian Organization. In Syria after ninth grade. I am going to the secondary school, the scientific branch.
[i] Yes.
[r] I have completed my high school diploma. After that I [was] at BTC College for a year. Electronics, I passed it to second level when I got married. I was pregnant, I couldn’t attend the second year. Yes, I stopped my education. But I had my four children. I realized that everything was fine, I carried on. We went to the Daraa Islamic Institute, I studied there for six years. Islamic, Hamdulillah.
[i] Yes. You are a married woman and you have four children, have you chosen your husband? Was it for love or were you forced to marry?
[r] No, no.
[i] Because that’s how it is here in the Arab countries. We have a different culture and different traditions.
[r] Yes, no with our family and those I know. There is no compulsion to marry because it is our Islamic religion. The religion of Hanif allows the woman to agree or disagree. I got married in a traditional marriage, then comes the family. Those from the relatives who see the girl and get married. Thank God we met and there was consent and the wedding.
[i] Yes.
[r] Traditional marriage.
[i] Was your life difficult? Did you start a family?
[r] Yes, of course. You find the difficulties. They disappear when there is family life, when there is respect, when there is love and there are parents. The difficulties go away, there are the sisters who always support it and the parents and the husband, thank God my husband. He is very kind, loving and understanding, hamdulillah Rab el Alamin. My marriage was successful.
[i] You have led a happy life. Until the war came.
[r] Yes, yes. But when the war came. The first year, the war started with us in Daraa.
[i] What year?
[r] In the third month of 2011, on March 18, 2011, the war started with us. It started in our city, in Daraa before the other provinces in Syria. It was a tragic situation for us. My children were in college. My two adult children, my daughter and my son. Both were in Sweda University. They had to go. Coming back from university is very difficult, they took a risk going there. They got on the buses and public transport, but the situation was dangerous. Very very dangerous.
[i] Bombing or kidnapping? [Recording pause]
[i] Yes, Ms. [name], we will continue our conversation, you talked about your two adult children. If they went to university, was it a big danger? You were afraid, let’s get into this topic.
[r] Maybe it’s only when you remember the war that you’re being forced against your will. I’m caught up now and the words don’t help me and don’t express that. My feelings, war is destruction. There is no security. Kidnapping, killing, arrest. Your son is going out. You can’t know whether he’ll come back or not. At what time? You have to face the fact that your son is dead, bombing. Your husband isn’t coming back, nobody knows anything, you can’t even ask where they are. There isn’t, everything with us was terrible. Very very terrible, this is war. I can’t imagine a person can understand the word “war” until they experience it. I imagine the old Germans who experienced the war and the destruction. They can understand us, us Syrians who have left the country. This atmosphere, we didn’t flee because of poverty or because we have nothing. We only fled so that we could protect ourselves, our lives and our children from death. It’s not easy for you to make the decision and leave. Where are you going? To the unknown. Smuggle and encounter fraudsters, smugglers, you experience scary things, you leave. In horror places, forests. Rivers just so you can escape, from the air, from the war. Save your family, you live better. The most important thing you are looking for is simply safety. You’re looking for security so you can live with your family, like hundreds of others. Thousands of Syrian families who have fled the war. Sometimes we are asked, You lived happily and carefree in Syria. “Do you have a culture?” Like this? I find it strange. There is culture in Syria. Culture, anyone who knows Syrian culture and life in Syria is more beautiful than here. There is a great culture in Syria, a great civilization in science. There is education and and and. There is a beautiful life. There is a beautiful life, there are relatives there, there are people there. The parents are there. I suspect if you If you lived there you would never leave the country and look for something else. In another country, I always said when have about. What we experience here, we had there, we don’t think we are here, no, on the contrary. We have civilization and more from here.
[i] Syria is known for its culture and traditions. The ancient civilization from its population. Of the beautiful programs. What is special for the family, entertainment programs. A country where there are castles, where development happens. Education and research.
[r] Yes.
[i] There are sights there, holy places.
[r] Yes, we have Roman ruins. In Daraa there is the international Basraa, a world theater. There are ruins there from thousands of years ago. Yes, as I told you, the decision to leave Syria is not easy, never, either live or die. There was nothing else, either dying or living.
[i] How did the war start?
[r] It started with us. …in. Shelling, killing. […] Sometimes you couldn’t leave the house, what can I tell you? Of the intensity of destruction if they want to buy basic works, the necessary. You go as fast as you can, you find the things, you don’t find them. What can I tell you, destruction. She started so quickly. Rapid destruction. Here you can see a funeral there. Assassination. He was shot here. War with us is war with everything that the word means. Annihilation, murder. There is nothing worse, nothing that can express this. For me, the word war is the worst thing in the world. Because it includes all despair, farewell. Families missed their children, their daughter, the head of the family. Their apartment.
[i] Has everything become more expensive?
[r] Inevitably everything becomes more expensive. Not just more expensive, if the primary things even existed. Especially in winter when you need gas or something to keep you warm. Receiving this was almost a miracle. If you get a gas bottle or something else. The situation was very, very difficult if you want to buy bread. There were many people standing in line, explosions happen. No bread and man, that happened to us a lot, it was a problem for us. Buy bread, basic at home. He’ll probably leave and never come back.
[i] Was the situation that bad?
[r] Very bad.
[i] The decision, how did you make the decision? Was that your decision or a family decision, how did that happen?
[r] The first thing I thought was that the circumstances were getting better. We have to be patient, we stayed like that for two years, we have to be patient, it kept increasing. Worse, our situation got worse. We decided that we would go to Lebanon temporarily. When things get better, we will return to Syria, home to our lives. Just four or five months. When it gets quiet we will return. We left and we never came back, I made the decision with my husband. We discussed it, including with my children, but to be honest there was no need for it. There wasn’t much to think about anymore, you have to go. No matter when, something happens spontaneously or the children are hit. The man is gone, he’s not coming back. That was the problem of thousands of people. There isn’t, we’re not safe and we’re talking, no. We want to go, they just wanted to. Flee from this air.
[i] How did you organize the trip? We drove to Lebanon in our car and took what we could. You know, we can’t fit that much, the clothes. We took the most important thing with us, the papers. We went to Lebanon, we stayed there for a year and a half? In Lebanon the situation was bad for Syrian refugees.
[i] Yes.
[r] Yes, the situation in Lebanon was bad. Very bad.
[i] Very.
[r] Of course.
[i] We had already heard that. We’ve heard about it.
[r] Of course she was the situation. That wasn’t merciful. Nobody felt for what was happening to those people. We were threatened to leave at any time. You couldn’t stay there, you had to think of something better. In Lebanon you either have a stay or they don’t give you a stay. You have to think of something to save yourself. It was absolutely not possible to stay and live in Lebanon. In any case, the situation is devastating and the residents themselves need help. They can’t cope. We decided that I would go. With two children and my daughter, my husband is sick. I left it there with my older son. This should be a simple matter. My husband will join me in a month or two. This thing had lasted two years, two years full of fear, full of pain. Full of fear of being lost, you don’t know. There is nothing difficult, you left with your family. You are lost, you are at the mercy of the smugglers. People who are not afraid of God, people who have no soul. You are not honest, your only concern is human trafficking? We didn’t know this when we went, we thought it was an easy one. Thing is, people are fleeing, when we arrived the situation was very, very dramatic. Honestly.
[i] Sad.
[r] Catastrophe. The type of smuggling is catastrophic, you will meet death. Lost, nothing to save you, no security. Nothing can save you from their hands, you have to run with those who run.
[i] How much did you pay for the trip? Wallahi, we paid. Much. We paid a lot, more than twenty. A thousand euros and more, of course. We were taken for a ride, the problem is we trusted them. Someone we trust can help you, it’s an easy way. We trusted someone who said, “I can help you, it’s an easy way.” It couldn’t be easier for my husband to send us first. He was a fraudster, he was supposed to take care of us there, he took the money. He didn’t ask about us anymore, we were in the same country. Without security, without money, my husband is sick. He’s in Lebanon. For him, I went to do a family reunion so he could get treatment. We found Germany to be better than other countries because of the treatment. Because of his situation, yes, we left. From Lebanon.
[i] Which country?
[r] We are back from Lebanon. On the same day, we returned to Syria. From Syria to the north, that is the smuggling route. About 24 hours on the bus until we reached northern Syria, checkpoints. We went through horror places, cities even from IS. The location was… You think, I have no idea whether we’ll get there or not. We reached a place in northern Syria and from there we continued to Turkey, the journey was very difficult. We’re down into a ditch with the children, we’re running, bullets are being fired. There were the smugglers.
[i] In Turkey.
[r] At the border, before we arrived in Turkey, these smugglers. [?] Between Syria and Turkey, you can’t believe it. When we reached Turkey, our blood in our bodies was dry. Not only that, we were almost dead by the time we reached Turkey. Never, sometimes I think about it if I knew that was the case, even my husband tells me that. If I had known, I wouldn’t have sent you, such a risk, you’re leaving a war. If you go into the unknown, which is much harder, the journey was more strenuous than the war. Your feeling was horror, you flee. We have arrived in Turkey. We stayed there for three months. We had a long journey to Turkey. This starts on the way, we thought we would start with the easy way, now we are in Turkey. We started with the most difficult route, the smuggling route [escape route] on land. Trying it at sea is one thing, trying it on the road is another thing. We have had many, many difficult experiences. The smugglers take us to a meeting point. We go there, they put us on a bus, what can I say, you can’t move your feet in this bus. You stay in your place, you can’t move, very very tight, you can hardly breathe. The bus in Turkey runs for about 15 hours, you can’t get off this bus, 15 hours and your children sitting next to you are tired and next to you. In the end the smugglers took us to a forest and ran away. They felt that the Turkish Janderma [police] were coming into the forest. The forest itself is black, you don’t see anything, horror. Yes, until we could leave this forest. And again from the beginning, second try. They had told us, “You can take the route from Anderia to Athens.” “But you have to walk for ten hours.” We walked with smugglers who don’t know Allah. Each of them was a human trafficker. Never anything else, this path is the path of death, that’s what I call it. They brought us to a place where you walk between grass and thorns. Between the valleys, rising and falling. At the end there is a lake, they throw everyone in so they can cross over. All just so they can get the money and run away. Then you try again and when we reach the country from Greek territory the police arrest us. We are being imprisoned so that they can send us back. They let us into this prison, such a bad life. Mixed men and women, with the garbage, dirt, mattresses. Everything dirty and shipped in a small room, people on top of each other. A toilet, you can’t go in there. They do this specifically to humiliate you. So that you don’t try again, you go back. Then they throw you into Turkey. We made three attempts on land. Then we should try at sea. It took us about fifteen hours from Turkey to Izmir. We went to Izmir in buses. The next day there is a test in the lake, be ready. I swear the smuggler said, “Ten minutes is enough” and you’ll get there. You don’t even need a jacket, you don’t need that.” Deceiver, may Allah punish him like this. We are on the sea. In the balam [ship] at night all on top of each other my youngest son was 12 years old. He was at the beginning of Balam and I was at the end I was the last one. My son on one side, my daughter on the other side and my little one at the end of the balam. He cries and asks, “Mommy, are you okay?” He often asked, we were at sea. We sink into it, we came to a point in the sea, to the regional water bodies. We have not been to the Turkish or Greek regions. We alerted the emergency rescue, the boat stopped in the sea and the waves. You find the waves that hit you, all black. You don’t see anything. We call. The Greeks say, “We have nothing to do with this. “Look, you should go back.” What’s important is after. We were very tired in the sea, it was around three in the morning. The water goes into the boat, we were, we threw our things, we tried to get the water out of the boat with our shoes. The water was about, about, almost full, the waves around you, your son is ready, mom are you okay, mom, we’re going to die. Yes, thank God and after that, by chance. We whistled even though there was nothing there. The sea was black and there were violent waves. We whistled and whistled. There was a Russian ferry, oil ferry tanker, that didn’t even have any passengers on it. Maybe there are ten or twelve in there, all busy. By chance someone came from upstairs, he wanted to smoke. He saw us coming so close to the big ship’s propellers. I remember we saw the huge ship propellers. A giant ship, clover ship. For oil, petrol or similar. He had been talking on the phone in the ship, then thank God he stopped. She stopped. He wanted us to walk away from it. Because everything around the ship was full of water and waves. He was afraid that we would sink. More and more, what is important is Hamdulellah. They saw us and hung the rescue ropes down from us. Now when they gave us the ropes, the men climbed up. They raise their hands until they reach the ladder and climb up. We women, everyone climbed high, I stayed alone with my daughter until the end. My daughter said, “Mom, you go first.” I said, “No, I can swim, you can’t.” We started trying and trying to figure out how to reach the rope and climb. And the ship is very high, about four or five floors, really high. It takes you a long time to get to the edge. In the end they brought us down a rope. They made it like a swing. And they brought us up one by one. We were on this ship for two days and they took us back to Izmir. After such fear and unrest, we returned to Turkey. Whether we hadn’t done anything. The smuggler came. He said, “The day after tomorrow there will be an attempt.” Our clothes were still salty. We spent two days getting our papers ready at the Janderma [police]. We returned to the hotel, still in salty clothes, he called, “You can go tomorrow.” My children cried. They told me, “Mom, we don’t want to go any further. “We’ve seen enough death.” I promised them that if it doesn’t work after this attempt, we won’t go anymore, that’s enough, we’ll stay. Of course I have a very big suffering, I will go into the unknown. Two days ago we almost drowned. [?] I thought of my sick husband, who has to go to Germany to get treatment. I was thinking about it, if we stay in Turkey, who will help us, who will support us? My children are still small, they can’t go to work yet. We can’t live, we want to reach a point where there is security. Where can we live, I said the last day, enough, tomorrow. If it works, that’s good, if it doesn’t, I swear we won’t try anymore, that’s a promise from me. On the other hand, the money we had, he took it. There is very little left for us to get it under control. I was convinced that day that I had made a decision. There was nothing in my mind, either we die or live. The situation is like this, done, live or die. On the second day we tried [it]. The smuggler had taken us from Izmir to Bodrum for about six hours and said, “Wait there until.” “Midnight.” The smugglers put us in vehicles. Until we reach this point where they start. First we sat in the boat, which rotates twice. The engine broke down, La Hawalla wala Kuwata illa Billah. From the beginning it’s like that, the smugglers, when you’re in places like that. You can’t decide. Yes, no, you just do what the smugglers want. You don’t have an opinion, they’ll kill you. Or he takes a child away from you. They told her, “Stay here, we want to get a new machine.” For the Balm [boat] we waited three hours until they came. They installed the new engine and told us, “Get in.” You know beautiful. [?] [already?] That was the end of October and it was so, so cold. If you go in the balm, you first have to get into the water. A few meters and then you can go in, cold and afraid. With the unknown!!! We drove with it. [?]
[i] You with your children.
[r] Of course, always with them until we reach Greece. With my children, we are in the Balm. As he drove, then the smuggler asks, “Where did you get to?” We said, “Yeah, we’ll be there soon.” We saw a country, we went back in the opposite direction. Back to Turkey. He said, “I see you, go to the other side. There is no god but Allah. We drove further into the sea. About two hours. We spontaneously see the headlights of the Greek police. Over our heads and the headlights above us, we waited. We asked them for help and said, “Please don’t hit, don’t throw.” They took us with them and took us to Athens on a boat. To an island from the Greek Islands. We found that strange, how spontaneous the Greeks above our heads are, and the headlights, projectors around us, even though everything was black, there were no noises. The cell phones, everything is off. Turns out they were looking for someone who had drowned and they found us on the way. […] Three boys were in a balm, they crashed into a ship. Two could swim and one couldn’t, those who could swim arrived and informed the Greek police and they are looking for this man. The man is dead, yes, wallah, he drowned. When we arrived in Greece, on the second day, his friends picked him up. Their friends took him. They were crying, we asked, “What’s wrong?” – “Our friend is dead. Drowned in the water. Only child, his parents come from Sham.” We finally arrived in Greece. A new phase of suffering and torment began. We arrived in Greece, the police took us to a place so cold in November. Like a place, closed from the outside and like a courtyard inside. In this courtyard they threw mattresses and blankets for people. Doesn’t look good. We stay outside for five days, we slept outside. In the yard, in the cold. There were women who had small children. There was a woman who was crying with her baby who was two months old. She said, “My baby is sick, he’s cold.” “It’s sick.” They had no mercy on her, everyone slept outside. In the yard until they got our papers ready. And they said, “Tomorrow a ship is coming, so you can go on to Athens.” We rode in the ship. About twelve hours until we reached Athens. When we arrived the next level of torture began. Second smuggling route. […] We arrived in Athens. According to the smuggler, “In two weeks you can be in Germany and have a family reunion with your husband.” He was a fraudster. He took the remaining money and said and said, “I can’t do anything for you.” I was despised and my colleagues despised me, I have nothing. Oh, we said, “And the money we transferred to you?” He said, “I have nothing to do with this.” OK. We were in Greece and Greeks don’t help refugees. You can enter their land, but you have to fend for yourself. What should we do, we think, what can we do? My children and I, that was important. There was a strike in Greece and we were there. Yes we stayed there for about a month. So that the European countries help us the refugees who are in Greece and cannot leave. The important thing is we were in Greece for about the first three months and life was very, very difficult. What should we do, we have to get along. We have to do something, my worries were my children and my sick husband. Afterwards we decided that I would go to Germany illegally alone because we couldn’t all go. Imaginary amount, unimaginable sums of money and me, then the family reunification. For her and my husband.
[i] Yes, Ms. [name] we continue. We had landed in Greece.
[r] We had arrived in Greece. Safe, we were so happy that we reached Greece. First of all, we got rid of the experiments. We were done with trying to cross land and sea. And we hoped that we could just come to Germany. Like other thousands who were waiting. It was a very, very difficult experience in Greece. To be on the safe side, but as you know there was no support for the refugees. You have to cope on your own to survive. You should manage yourself. We arrived in Greece at the beginning of November. […] We arrived in Greece at the beginning of November and now a new torment begins for me and my children. In Greece I had to separate from my children. And continue to escape alone so that I can do the family reunion with them. For my husband, who is still in Lebanon. This step was not easy at all, never. I remember the same day I started this attempt, I had tried it before too. My daughter had tried to leave. It didn’t work, I told myself I’d try [it] myself, maybe it would work. I [can] remember being with my younger son and being very close. He always sleeps next to me on this trip. No matter where, he sleeps next to me. We lay in bed like that. He told me, “Mom, you will travel to Germany today” and leave me.” I replied, “Allah we alam [God knows that].” I don’t know. He said, “You have one shot.” I didn’t want to tell him I was leaving, I suspected it wouldn’t work because people try seven or eight times before they leave. I know someone who tried twenty times and it didn’t work. I hugged him with my heart and kissed him. He went to play. I prepared myself and went to the airport. Yes, Wallah.
[i] You came by plane?
[r] I came by plane from Athens airport. To Germany via Italy, airport. We stayed in Rome for about six hours, yes. Subhan Allah, everything went well. I got on the plane, I didn’t believe the plane was flying. My only concern in this world was moving forward because of my family, the grief is not important. You forget yourself, you don’t think about yourself anymore, not at all. I am a woman who hasn’t thought about herself. My only worries were my children. Like their situation and my husband’s situation. This torture as I bring her here. I swear when I arrived in Germany. I got off in Frankfurt and they dropped me off there. They had given me from one camp to another camp. A person in charge there, I told her that my children are there in Greece. I need someone to help me get her. She recommended a club to me. She told me, “Let your children go there, to this club. In a few months, six to seven months, we can get them.” When she told me six to seven months I fainted. My children stay away from me for six to seven months. That’s not easy and it took me more than ten months to get her. My sons and my daughters are there left this organization. They told them, “You have to wait your turn.” Long process with the papers. The promises, they applied for their papers. One by one, my little son. The lawyer who was responsible for us each receives their approval separately. I have a promise for my son, then my daughter. Two or three months passed between one boy and the others. The other one, I don’t know if he gets permission. When I came here I spoke to a club. They said, “Your son, who has reached the age of 17,” he was 17 my son [name], “we can’t take him. We can only take the little ones, your daughter and your son. “They will stay there, they live there and you live here. ” When I heard they lived there and I lived here, I had a nervous breakdown. Anyway, my husband is sick and has to undergo surgery. There is nothing more difficult than an operation in Lebanon. I am, I have experienced days when I would not have been religious and very close to God and the good Lord strengthened me, then I would have had a nervous breakdown. Especially when I get to the people in charge and I’m very tired. In an organization or something, he said, “I’m sorry, we can get the younger guy.” The others stay there, in Greece, where they stay alone. We are a family, some here and some there. I fought for so long and didn’t give up. I have done a lot to ensure that, thank God, my children come. Thank God at the end of 2015. In December. Thank God my children came.
[i] Blow
[r] When they were in Greece, it was a joy. Nothing better than being reunited with your children. Thank God. I remember when he called us from Lebanon. He said, “Now I can sleep at night.” “Now I can sleep peacefully, the children are with you.” It is not easy. I picked her up from Berlin. The children.
[i] Did all three come?
[r] All three came, thank God, via the police. Through an organization, by plane. From Athens and I received them here in Berlin. Yes, I went to Berlin and picked her up. I came to Bochum.
[i] Why go to Bochum, especially Bochum?
[r] Uhhh.
[i] How did you get to Bochum?
[r] I was in a town called Soltau before I came to Bochum. I was there for about eight months, but I was alone, I know that. There were people there, but I was mentally very stressed. I only wanted to communicate with someone I know, who is close to me. My relative is here in Bochum. She told me: “Come” “to me until you find an apartment.” She helped me a lot, God make her happy. Eh wallah, I was with her for two months. I moved here from Soltau, I had a nice stay. When I arrived in Bochum, the new suffering began. I have to now present the papers for the family reunification with my husband, and do it alone. A story, this is a war of nerves, you burn your nerves. One day, two, one day these papers won’t be there. If you miss a day, they tell you, “You should get these papers.” “Where should we get the papers from?” – “From Syria.” – “Syria is destroyed, war is raging in Syria.” Our eyes fly out until we get the papers and certify them, that alone, that was the biggest suffering for me, getting the papers and certifying them so we can work with them. My husband is really, he could do his best, he was poor. Even though he is sick and tired, he goes to Syria alone and gets the papers. Although it’s dangerous, he had to get the papers. We brought them, like the marriage certificate, for example. All the papers until we got them and I applied for it. After the entry they told me, “You should wait six months so we can get him. He is sick, has had surgery and has been waiting since I left him. Two years passed before he came, two years is a lifetime, waiting. You wait one day at a time to see who experiences it. This waiting is different from the one who sees you from a distance, he doesn’t know what you expect. What you feel, you fight in this world, you run and run. Just so you can unite your family so you can live in safety. Healthy life in safety, the most important thing is safety. Without war, that’s it. My children came to Bochum. I had an apartment for one person, thank God. They came to me and we lived there. […] Of course you, sister [name], you have never fallen short with me. Be it with furniture or many other things. You helped me a lot and supported me. That has to be mentioned. What I needed, you personally and your organization, were never neglected. Allah should give you only the best in life.
[i] Thank you. That is our duty.
[r] Allah yesalmik, I put the apartment in order. My apartment was for one person, we furnished it and got it ready, thank God my children are with me. We lived. Now the language agony begins, the language when you came. You get mail from the job center and I want to translate it, I’m going, there, there, there and have an appointment, what does it say, I need someone to come with me. I’m so, very precise, very, very precise in my appointments, I don’t like being late. I don’t neglect it. On time, as they say here.
[i] Yes.
[r] I was very tired when it came to papers.
[i] On time.
[r] The papers got me down, I get papers, what does it say? I was looking for someone to translate, he’s not there. I run there and look for someone on Facebook who is translating. Or that they translate these papers for me, I go to the job center. I speak in English. They didn’t agree with that, they told me, “Only German. Either you speak German to us or you get an interpreter.”
[i] Yes, that was also very.
[r] A point that made everything difficult for me. The issue of papers was a big concern for me. Very very big to translate the papers.
[i] Did you pay money to translate the papers?
[r] Of course. All the refugees who are here have paid money to translate the papers so that we know why these papers are coming. What should we do and what should we take with us? What do we do and if we have an appointment, where do you get someone to the appointment, that is very important. After my children came, I signed up for a language course. Thank God I reached level B1, I learned. A1, A2, B1. But I had a problem with the language. I can’t understand what I hear. If someone speaks German to me, I’m standing in front of a wall. I want, I need some time until I understand it. Yes, that’s what he says and it’s not easy, it’s not our language. I’m not young, like the young people who understand the language quickly or something like that. There is also very little contact with Germans. The environment where I speak the language is also very limited. The television is in Arabic and the family speaks Arabic. Yes, outside I was ashamed to speak a little German or with the neighbors. Someone insults me or tells me, “You [We?] don’t want each other.” I have experienced many unpleasant situations, especially because I wear a headscarf. I wear the headscarf on the tram. A woman had said to me: “Shit. ” She insulted me, at us, at me.
[i] Several times?
[r] Happened to me three or four times at the time. There were problems, some refugees caused problems. Yes, there are people who think all refugees are like that. They generally think that all refugees have problems. On the contrary, I always warn them. When you go out, you don’t represent yourself, you represent your country, your religion. You must treat people with respect and courtesy, El hamdulellah Rab el Alamin. Respect for others, our religion is to accept others. We accept everyone. The images that come out in the news, the news that Muslims are very closed, they love no one and only love killing. This is false advertising that is not true. When the Germans come to us and see how tolerant the people are, that the church is next to the mosque. All next to each other in peace. There is no one Yejare above the other, on the contrary. We had many Christians. My sister’s neighbor is a Christian and they are very friends, like siblings, they had a very strong relationship. That doesn’t exist, our religion accepts others, it loves others. Our religion is a religion of peace and characterized by respect. You have your religion and I have mine. We treat each other well. All religions are charay from Allah. There were some differences, but they are differences. Everyone is loyal to their religion. He lives the way he wants, but he has to treat others well. With respect, because at the end of the day he is human.
[i] We would like to talk about the positive things in Bochum. When you came to Bochum, were you treated well?
[r] Of course I tell you, thank God. There is no country that has given as much to refugees as Germany and these countries that help refugees, to be honest. The other countries, the Arab countries, that have closed their doors to refugees, Europe has opened the doors to the refugees. Europe gave them shelter, gave them a life. An honest life. Man, what could be better than telling you, “You come to us, we will pay your living expenses until you learn the language and work.”? Is there a better dignity? There is no better dignity. There is no country that treats Syrian refugees [like this?].
[i] They were destroyed.
[r] Yes, they were destroyed like [?]. For me, Germany has given us a lot. Of course, we would like to thank the German people from the bottom of our hearts for embracing us. Honestly, not one or two Syrians. Thousands. Syrians came here, they [Germany] opened their hands so that they could live here. A good life, whose children learn and those who learn and work. Depending on society and giving a negative image. People have been good to you, you have to be better and treat them better than they treated you. I’m always like that, that’s my opinion. My family, everyone, we are very, very grateful to Germany for what it has given us, to be honest.
[i] Do you like Bochum?
[r] Yes of course, when I’m in another city and I come back, I say: “We’re back in our city.”
[i] Do you feel at home on Engelsburger Straße, is this your home?
[r] Of course, now it is. Yes, this is my home, thank God.
[i] Are you living stable?
[r] Yes, thank God, I feel comfortable there. Thank God my children are learning the language. And the situation is very nice compared to the war. What we experienced, on the contrary, there is nothing better, to be honest. There is nothing better than that people have provided you with everything so that they can learn (and you can live a good life).
[i] Would you like to bring your parents here?
[r] I swear it’s my wish.
[i] And your siblings?
[r] I wish that very much, it is my wish. I’ll get my mother and father. He’s old, to be honest. My mother is sick. If I can’t get her, I wish I could see her. Not easy, I applied to Lebanon and wasn’t allowed to go.
[i] Why?
[r] They told us that Syrian Palestinians are not welcome. They didn’t allow me to do that. With a lot of effort, twenty days of visits so that my mother could come and I could see her. I haven’t seen her in seven years. I was mentally prepared, I was shocked and tired. As you were prepared to leave, then you start again. There is nothing difficult.
[i] How can you communicate with them?
[r] IMO and MESSENGER.
[i] With sound and images?
[r] Yes, thank God with sound and images.
[i] That’s good?
[r] Very, if it weren’t for these means, these means of communication, then you would be even more broken. You communicate with your family, that’s really nice. Whenever I talk to my dad, he says, “Wallah.” The best thing is when I can see you and you can see me and we talk to each other.” Always like that when I talk to you, he said, that’s the most beautiful thing.
[i] You take a dose of energy.
[r] Of course. Missing them will get better if you talk to them.
[i] Of course.
[i] After you had the war behind you and experienced a lot of ugly things, you came to Bochum, including your children. What is social life like in Bochum, tell us something? Activity, cultural, civilized?
[r] For Bochum there are some examples. We met every Thursday at a club. We sit, discuss, change the atmosphere. There is sometimes contact with Germans, but little time. […] [I?] How are you feeling? Are you starting to integrate? I recently said, I’ve been here four years. I feel no, thank God, I feel fine. My psyche has improved after the long suffering I experienced. The traces remain. It’s not so easy to forget, you have mental problems. They are there, but it takes a while for your psyche to get back to the way it was before. The fear disappears, the restlessness. You’re afraid of the unknown, where should we go? […] My son and daughter have protected status, I got three years. The two little ones are three years old, the adults say they can, no matter when, they say now you have to leave. We came and saw death until we got here. No matter when, they can send us back.
[i] Yes, that is difficult.
[r] Very, of course.
[i] How long have you been here?
[r] I’ll be here four years in February.
[i] There is certainly a hope of staying here, you have learned the language.
[r] Yes, definitely.
[i] The boys are learning professions and working, your daughter is young.
[r] Yes, they want to, they want to learn and work, my son wants to learn to be a nurse, inshallah, he can do it. He is studying to be a nurse, each of them has something. He wants to learn and live here in dignity.
[i] What do you miss most?
[r] Where? About Syria?
[i] Yes.
[r] What I miss most is the atmosphere of Eid and Ramadan, the family being together. The family atmosphere. We always visited my mother in the car. My brothers and siblings, this atmosphere. We missed that, that was stolen from us, the bond of family, that’s what you feel. Everyone has a longing, it’s not easy. Years, years go by in an instant.
[i] Is there something, a connection here between Germany, Bochum, and your country that is similar?
[r] Yes, on the whole I have discovered differences between here and there, everything is regulated here. They are more structured here. When you find work or when you learn. Result, it’s difficult for us. Not easy. You can be insured, you can work here, you can learn. You can quickly get started in life, invest and spend. That’s not a problem and […] And also, I mean… Like I said, I’m a kid now. Anyone who wants to move to a different region needs some time to get used to it. Even if the Germans went to another region, they need some time to get used to it. It’s a new language. It’s not easy for someone to talk to you and you open your eyes and don’t know what you want to say. Or you don’t understand something, or you get a call. For example, I’m afraid of the unknown phone number, that someone from Germany will call me and ask me something about papers, and I don’t know what that is. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I get nervous and hang up. What did he say? Maybe that’s important. Maybe I want to do something. Language is the most important thing in this country. And it’s not easy for the German language.
[i] Okay. Do you like it?
[r] Yes, I like the atmosphere with the children.
[i] Did you like it?
[r] Yes. My children and the children who go out and watch the playground.
[i] It’s like going to the market. You can feel the joy of the children.
[r] Yes.
[i] You can feel that they are nice.
[r] Yes, when we go to the market we have fun. The cute stalls selling good stuff. The children play happily. The mirrors and the balloons. I mean, the fun is great. Wherever you go, the fun is no less. and joy and joy
[i] Don’t you feel like the Vine Art Market exactly like the one we had before the oath?
[r] Yes.
[i] Don’t you feel like we now have Bochum’s Eid activities for children Entertainment programs, food and drinks. The same thing we have for oath
[r] Yes, in our country there were fairs and also food and drinks and fun and family visits and you go to restaurants and joy and guests come to you. And you go to parties.
[i] You invite your friends.
[r] Of course, there is nothing more beautiful than the atmosphere of happiness, children and Bochum.
[i] But Bochum is also there.
[r] Of course there is a lot here. I mean, it was very, very nice. The view of the town hall is this atmosphere, this decoration and this beauty. It’s very, very beautiful
[i] Yes, we talked about how did you get to your country and to this nice meeting? You were in Berlin, but you didn’t tell me how you met your husband.
[r] My husband, after six months. I didn’t bring him from my country. He came
[i] Without collecting the money.
[r] No, he didn’t pick up the money. I worked with him for a year. He didn’t collect the money. We got the papers. And he has me there at the Message hit And I mean, for a whole year I mean, thank God everything is fine. And thank God he came. Yes, I swear. We were very happy, I mean, thank God. But my husband as if he was carrying my shoulder. And I pushed him. I mean, like I told him, come on, it’s your turn. Yeah, I swear. And thank God, I mean, my husband is very, very nice and and an understanding person. And he helps me a lot. Even if he is sick. He always supports me. And he helps me. And his presence. Of course, of course My support. My support You feel that you are not alone. 145 4
[r] In the Arab world, men play a very important role.
[r] Of course, of course
[i] Did you mention in our first conversation that in your family, in your home, there was no difference in the treatment between the girl and the man.
[r] Not at all. Not at all.
[i] Here, at home, also with you
[r] Not at all. I mean, exactly the same. On the contrary. I mean, even the girl touches me more. Yes. Because the girl becomes more emotional than the boy. And so the girl needs more affection than the boy. The boy for me And men are very rational the girl. Thinks emotionally. She loves the feeling. She loves the emotions. She loves the sweet words. Yes, that’s right
[i] Yes [Name], what is your situation here?
[r] My husband is very relaxed when we got here. But his health is very bad. And his language skills are very poor. He doesn’t know how to communicate Even if the patient he will take him to the doctor because of his illness. He will bring someone with you to translate. Yes, he translates it. If I could talk to him, he would understand me and talk to me. I was doing better than the others. They didn’t take me to the doctor. He was sick. He went to school for a while, but he didn’t want to sit in the chair. He couldn’t sit on the chair. I was doing better than the others. He was in better shape than the others.
[i] Does he have friends?
[r] Yes, he did.
[i] Is he having fun?
[r] Yes, he did.
[i] On the phone?
[r] Yes, he does. He is one of those people who likes to work. He is sick and that is what torments him the most. I always tell him that if I had a job, I would or if I could work, I wouldn’t stay here. I would immediately leave the job center and go to work. If I had any health, I wouldn’t stay. My husband is a car mechanic. He studied in a nursing home. He studied at DTC. I love being a car mechanic. Here you can see how big the cars are. Yes. He loves cars very much. He’s a genius. He can unscrew the whole computer and install it. But he is not healthy. So, this job is a bit tiring.
[i] Are all your children going with you?
[r] No. My eldest son – after my husband came, we tried to take him with us. Look how tired my oldest son is. My husband was allowed to come to Mshamel. But my son wasn’t allowed to come because he was 21 years old. We tried to take him out of town but he refused. He wanted to go in the hour of need. He returned to Mshamel on his own initiative. When he arrived in Mshamel, I persuaded him to stay for a week. And when he came home and he was sorry about what had happened, I told him that I was taking him to the hospital. And that I would take him to the clinic. I told him I was sick and we were going to the clinic. My husband was sick. I was afraid that they would come after us in this section. They followed us in another section of Lower Saxony, which is in Celle, north of Hanover, about 40 km away. To be honest, I was very, very tired. I said to myself: I wish I could be with you, I wish I could be more relaxed, I wish I could be sure that my father is sick, I wish I could be more sure of you. I live there all alone. He is currently completing his BI degree and is studying at SFI. He works hard and enjoys learning. But I always think he’s lucky he’s alone there. It’s not good to be alone. After all this suffering, I will tell my mother that in two years we can see each other and now I’m going alone. It is difficult.
[i] Yes, sister [name] Tell us, let’s continue our conversation about your son. He is a big man.
[r] Yes.
[i] And you tell us that he is not relaxed because he was sent to another region.
[r] Yes.
[i] There is no hope that you can bring him here.
[r] Honestly, we tried a lot to get him here. I tried it too. You tried it too. You asked me, they told you that this law cannot be changed. This is a law we cannot change. But I hope he comes. When he comes, he will be fine physically and mentally. If he’s in a good mood, he’ll feel better. He will think more clearly. He’ll get better. So he will be tired. He will be upset. He is not allowed to visit his family. His family has been hidden from him for years. He’s been there for a while. He also wants me to live with him again because I live in another city. Yes, that’s right. Of course, I live in another city, so I hope my son will come here and study. My son wants to study medicine, so I hope he studies well and is close to his family. I hope he won’t continue working for his father, his siblings or me. We are a family and a family loves to live together, not your son living alone. It is difficult.
[i] It’s heavy, and if you want a car, it’s expensive.
[r] Of course poor people spend hundreds of euros on a car. And who can come over every now and then? You know, the cost of the job center is already enough for you. But if you do more entertainment and traveling, it will be difficult for you.
[i] Of course.
[r] Yes.
[i] What are your social activities in Bochum? Are they restricted?
[r] For me, my social activities are limited due to my husband’s health. There are also cultural activities that we cannot do. What are these activities? For example cinema, theater, films or something else. Because, frankly, all of these things are expensive. I mean, the cost of the job center is enough for me. But you can’t afford leisure activities, to be honest. I mean, it’s enough, but we can’t afford leisure activities. Traveling, going out, coming here, watching films, theater. Of course restaurants, restaurants, all those things. I mean, everything is hard at home. At home.
[i] What are your hobbies? What do you like to do?
[r] I really like swimming. We used to go to the sea in Syria every year. We always rented a boat to go to the sea. Here and there. And I kept finding myself swimming and getting out of the sea. Oh God, I was in the sea. Yes. Swimming is one of my hobbies. And my father swam too.
[i] This is important for health.
[r] Yes. Yes.
[i] Can you go into the kitchen here?
[r] I honestly don’t have time. I have no time. My husband is healthy. And I’m going to the theater. You go to the swimming pool. You have to give me a ride, you take me on the bus to take me to the swimming pool. And of course that’s expensive for me. And you don’t go in or out. And your hair is wet. And in our country, for example, you’re done. It dries instantly. I mean, the weather is different here. To be honest, the weather in Germany is strange for us. I mean, it’s very cold. I mean, on the contrary, you get sick. I mean, I can’t do that anyway. And I hope, God willing, to get my driver’s license. God willing. I used to drive a car in Syria. I mean, I have a driver’s license. I don’t have anyone with me who has a driver’s license. I mean, I just can’t drive. So I’m hoping to get a driver’s license. Then it will be easier for me. Especially my husband when he goes to the hospital. And he takes me to the hospital. You meet me during the holidays, for example on Saturdays. I want to go to the hospital with him. I only need three hours of transportation. I want to go back. I mean, an hour and a half before I get there on the bus. Every hour I have to stop to leave the place. To get to the city center. To take another bus or go to the Samban highway. Sometimes I have to wait about half an hour. And I was there once. Once I went to the hospital. And then I arrived at the center. I have to go to the hospital. I still have fifty minutes left. In winter. And in winter I have to stop for fifty minutes. This is an illness. I was traveling too. I can’t stand this cold. I hope to get my driver’s license in the future. If we carry out activities with the Zubaydah Brotherhood, in the Middle East Human Rights Association, we can do that. Food for the children, we did activities. My children used to go out with the club once a week and they really enjoyed it. They visited different places and the weather was nice and the atmosphere naturally changed. This is better than staying at home. From there they see the world and have fun with it.
[i] Attempts are being made to organize social activities that are useful for young people. What do young people do for their children? Are they learning the language?
[r] You are currently learning the language.
[i] What about social activities?
[r] As far as social activities go, of course they go to the theater and the cinema. They can’t do that. We have all kinds of activities. For example, we have a monthly pass. For my children we give them a 40-40-40 monthly pass. Each of us has a ticket. We give them a 40-40-40 monthly pass. We also have telephones. Today phones have become very important. Not like before. There used to be this TV, one for the whole house, and there was a landline phone. As civilization advanced, people began to increase their salaries and people had to provide more security for their children.
[i] Of course.
[r] Of course.
[i] So what are the alternatives? What are they doing?
[r] Well, at the moment they are learning. You are currently doing fitness. And thank God they enjoy fitness.
[i] This is very good for them.
[r] Of course.
[i] It relieves stress.
[r] Of course, of course. They love it. Thank God.
[i] And you, what are you responsible for at home?
[r] I am responsible at home. I have a lot to do. Honestly, I go to class, but I’m always at home. I have children at home. I have to cook, I have to work. You have to do everything. You have to drive. I mean, the importance of children is important. My husband was a nurse at the time. I mean, if I’m constantly on the golf course and I’m bringing things and I’m putting them down and he’s home alone, it’s not easy. He is sick. So they want to be careful. So I take care of him and bring him back a little. I mean, he doesn’t come to Germany to be alone.
[i] Yes.
[r] Yes. Especially the patient. I mean, the patient doesn’t need any special care.
[i] Yes. Does anyone help you care for your husband?
[r] No, there is no one. No, no, there is no one. On the contrary, as long as he has a lot of stress, I also have a lot of stress. Because I have a school. I mean, I have appointments to keep. I have a house. I mean, I always have a responsibility. I mean, sometimes I say this, I mean, I just want to be a little better. I just want to breathe. I just want to get rid of this stress. Or to relax. I mean, it’s not easy to do anything. Of course, I mean, there are things like that. You have to support that. You have to sacrifice it.
[i] I mean, you three come from a war background. And… You tried to save this family and protect them from death and destruction. But the problems of everyday life don’t stop there either.
[r] Of course, the problems of everyday life are big. And you have to have understanding for the children. You also have to live… I mean, you have to keep them from abandoning the children as much as possible. The answer is not easy. When your son comes to a country, he doesn’t know how to talk about it. He doesn’t know how to express himself. He doesn’t know… He has to learn. He has to learn it. In other words: there is stress. I’m sure all children are stressed. I mean, he has to be able to take this step.
[i] You have a desire to have a resume. And so you can relax and master the situation. What do you expect from Bochum? What should you ask your Bochum official? What do you expect from people?
[r] I want people to accept us and know that we only went to Germany because there was a war in our country. We respect them and thank them. As for the elderly, I hope that they are not treated the same as the young people. The young people followed them in their work and studies. This is a very positive thing. But the elderly are under stress and tired. In their countries they work for free and are tired. The elderly come here and their health is very bad. They also need work. They need work. You have to integrate. I hope that the older people will gradually come here. I’m not saying that the elderly should stay at home. I just hope they can relax a little. I don’t want them to emulate others. My husband is sick. I go to school. I’ll take care of him in the hospital. I’m going home. Either I take care of the house or I go to the hospital. I want to go back to the hospital. On the second day I wake up early in the morning to go to school. I’m not young anymore. There is also a little stress.
[i] Regarding food and drink, do you give him something to eat and drink in the hospital?
[r] As for food and drink: He doesn’t like food. He is used to eating. Everyone is used to eating.
[i] Of course.
[r] He doesn’t like the food in the hospital. It’s the same in the hospital. I do simple things. I’ll take him with me. He loves our food.
[i] What else do you like to do?
[r] I always cook him soup. I cook him soups, salads and certain things. I’ll take him and take him with me. Me and my children are going.
[i] Do you feel like you need to improve your language skills? Of course, you get the feeling that everyone is important Centers in Oman are now located in a church. Will it help Muslims if they provide some books in Arabic? Do you think this will be helpful?
[r] Of course, of course.
[i] That the books, for example, in Arabic.
[r] Of course it’s a necessity that will help. But it will make you feel good when you see that you can communicate perfectly and understand me perfectly.
[i] Yes.
[r] Of course, I hope that many things will be well written in Arabic. This will make you feel very comfortable. This will make you feel very comfortable.
[i] We believe this is also a basic requirement.
[r] Indeed.
[i] For example, the main train station, if it is written in Arabic in the town hall.
[r] Yes.
[i] The brochures can be printed in Arabic.
[r] Yes.
[i] We are working intensively on it.
[r] For example, when I go to the train station under the bridge. For example, we write where in Arabic. I am very happy. I say: Yes, I am standing here or I am present. This means that we have a presence in this country. We know our authors are where they belong. This is a very beautiful thing. I think that’s very nice. I am very happy when I see this.
[i] This is the only word in Arabic used in all brochures.
[r] Yes. Where. We find it very pleasant.
[i] And social activities. Do you feel like it makes you happy? Do you feel that when you meet, for example, with people your age. Do you meet once a month, once a week? Do you like that?
[r] Of course, very much.
[i] Do you like talking about it?
[r] I have participated in such activities more than once and I hope it makes you feel good. Especially when you’re talking to someone who speaks the language you understand. It understands your pain. And, I mean, you’re laughing heartily. You feel that the stress falls away from you.
[i] So there is a need for it.
[r] Of course.
[i] For example, if your husband is sick when an event is taking place and you want to meet him, there will also be a participant to take care of him. Do you agree with this topic?
[r] Yes, of course.
[i] Would you like your husband to organize more activities for refugees that you can participate in?
[r] Yes, of course.
[i] Is there a particular activity you would like to participate in? For example, as you mentioned, you enjoy reading.
[r] Yes.
[i] For example, poetry readings.
[r] I really enjoy reading. I like reading. I like history. This is my hobby. I like films that are about history. So, the history of people. I watched a lot of German history on YouTube. I watch videos and stuff about German history and the destruction it caused. I like that after the war, not even 10 Years later, it was further developed. It became more open. It stopped crime from the start and from the ground up. It became one of the strong countries. After the war, Germany became stronger.
[i] Yes.
[r] Correct. That is very nice. Very nice. And the people who like to work, the people who are organized. That’s very nice, I think.
[i] Do you have any contacts with anyone from Germany? Like friends or a neighbor or something, you know?
[r] Yes. My old house. I used to live with my German neighbor. The first time she saw me, she saw me like this in the hijab. When she first saw me, I asked, “Where did that come from?” She said we would win. She thought along with her family that the woman who came from the country, they believe we come from a land of descendants so we will win. That’s what she told me. When we became friends, I said that the first time I saw you like that. Some of them loved me and my children very much. They said, “Your children are very polite and respectful.” Some of them said, “We lack such things.” For example, we are not like that in your family. They said, “You have more respect for your parents.” We also visit our families very rarely. Our contact with our parents is very limited. We don’t have parents. For example, you go to your parents at least once a week, twice a week. You take care of your mother and father. You take care of them and help them. Here, this is how they treat us. This is how they treat us. That’s all. Every now and then a call. When visitors come, they tell me that the atmosphere in your family is better than ours. She always told me, her mother lives in Dortmund. She is not my daughter’s friend. I’ll tell my mother about you and your children. How educated you are. How good you are. Yes. So…
[i] Are you still in touch with her?
[r] Yes. I’m still in contact with her. I’m very close to her.
[i] That’s nice.
[r] Yes, I love her very much. [Name].
[i] In our society, if we hand over a child, he will take care of his parents. His parents raise him when he is small.
[r] It’s growing up.
[i] He’s growing up. Does that still exist in your family?
[r] Of course. Naturally. The child always respects his parents. It helps them. It treats them with respect. Even if there are differences of opinion between you and the children. But there is a point where respect applies. There is a point where the children respect the father and mother. We also maintain our habits and traditions at home. Our food. Our occasions. Our children. We cook the food we love. We do the things we are used to. We preserve our traditions. Our culture. Our culture is ancient. It’s not that we don’t have culture in this country. On the contrary, we have an ancient culture. We have a very beautiful culture. We have a culture… Our culture is that we love and respect others. That is our culture.
[i] Yes.
[r] Yes.
[i] What is your prayer? We hold on to our traditions. We talked about many topics. We talked about many things. We talked about what you like in Europe. What surprised you? What was the most surprising thing for you personally?
[r] What surprised me today? The spread of hashish. The spread of alcohol. It is allowed. It is not sold. It’s not good. Of course, of course, there are some things that we have in our country that are banned. And people are not allowed to do them. If someone does them, he will be very lonely and alone without anyone seeing him. Without people knowing him. Other things are strange, stranger than suicide. And many things are strange. I am against extremism. I am against… …and that people are very strict in everything, and that the good in everything lies in the middle. Our religion is the middle. And another thing that surprised me was that parents are forbidden to treat their children in a normal way. For example, the child is forced to make mistakes and the parent is forced to yell at him and lecture him. If the child doesn’t give him everything he wants, There is no respect for elders, laws or work. There’s something you…
[i] Equipment?
[r] Of course.
[i] And boundaries.
[r] And boundaries. I know a group of people who tell me their son looks at them. His mother is on the phone all night long. She says to him: I’ll get the youth welfare office for you. Even the children threaten their parents with the U-Gund office. Although many of them lie. They say they beat us and did this. That’s not true. But they have a lot to do with their families. You want to stay at home in the evening. Her parents say they can. Everyone is afraid for their children. They tell them we’ll get you a U-Gund office. This is something we want to do in our country. I was surprised when I came here. When you’re dealing with your son, there’s a red line and you can’t cross it. I raised my son and am afraid of him. No one is more afraid of their son than his parents. That’s impossible. They always want their parents to be polite and respectful. You respect others. You have good manners. You deal with people. But when the Son says, I have the law. I can do this and that. When we grow up, when he grows up in Syria, and in our Muslim countries, when the son is 70 years old, he will respect his father and mother. The father has authority over the son. He has authority. There is no father who does not want to treat his son well. But there is authority. For example, respect. If the father says that, I will accept his opinion and respect him. And it is the same in our religion. How many times has God said, “Do nothing except for me and my parents.” That’s good. The word “good” is mentioned in the Quran. It has been mentioned many times in the Rights of the Father and the Mother. When I raised my son, and when you raised your son, we didn’t want the son to reject that upbringing. Rejecting the parents who raised him. Not getting to know you. I am proud of our habits and traditions when the family is connected. When they’re together indoors. When there is sadness. When there is joy. When there is illness. If there is something. The whole family is connected. Connected to the patient or the needy. Or with someone who needs attention. I didn’t find that in Germany. Generally, when the child turns 18, he starts dating his parents. When he grows up, he contacts his parents. When he grows up, he will be needed most by his children. Most needed for his son’s love and affection. Parents do not wait for their son to come to them once a year, or two or three times a year, to give him a gift and say goodbye. The parents, you raised him, you want your children to be with you. They take care of you. They visit you. They consider you part of the family. No distant relative to visit her occasionally. That’s also a thing.
[i] In our Arab countries we invest in the child. Because when we grow up, our mother is no stranger. There is a modern generation, as we call it. They take care of the family. But we don’t have a mother. The mother and father grow up. My grandfather and grandmother, until the end of their lives, and until their last breath, we serve them. For example, my grandchildren leave home, their children and their husband, and come to serve their father and mother.
[r] That’s right.
[i] And the husband doesn’t cry.
[r] No, of course not.
[i] Because that doesn’t bring anything good to his family.
[r] It does nothing good for his family. Of course, that’s true. In Syria, father and mother have their place. Even when they are adults, when they need it, even when they are tired. The children, they even assign tasks to each other. Today you go to my parents, you do this and that. They distribute the roles so that they can help each other. That’s the point. Yes. I remember my grandfather and grandmother when I was a child, God bless them until the end, they were honored and revered. Honored and revered. Yes, I swear. So…
[i] This is one of our duties.
[r] Your duty.
[i] And society will not bless you if you had not raised your children.
[r] Of course, of course.
[i] Here it’s normal, it’s the same.
[r] Yes.
[i] It’s the same here. Nobody cares whether you came or not. Everyone is at home.
[r] Yes. We have the same religion. Just as my father and mother did when they grew up, so must my eight children. They are happy that they accepted their father and mother. This is the culture of society and the culture of religion.
[i] I didn’t see that here.
[r] Not at all. On the contrary, I have noticed that as the elders grow older, they go to the Maqwa house. There is no one sitting there just eating, drinking and sleeping. I mean, a German neighbor once told me that. She told me I’m afraid that at this moment I will go to the Maqwa’s house and just leave. I want to eat and drink and sleep. Then I’m done. Everyone is afraid of this religion.
[i] Does this concern you? Don’t you want to think about it?
[r] Yes, of course not. Of course I see it as an injustice. It is an injustice to the parents. Injustice towards the father. Injustice towards the mother. This… This… They should be removed. I see this as a kind of rejection. Rejection by society. In fact, you take that person and put him in a negation and put him in the Maqwa house. It is possible that they have something here that is natural or normal, but in my opinion it is not normal. There is no one who lives in a family at his age. He’s having fun with this child, this son or this daughter. He has a good balance in the family. Naturally. How unusual it is when the older ones are so attached to the children! How much he enjoys the children! He would be happy that he doesn’t have any rejection, that he still lives in the family.
[i] Yes. Bengaleth Apart from this matter, have you not considered, for example, if you think that you will go to Europe and be happy
[r] Yes, when we left Syria or Lebanon, we thought Europe was heaven for us. We thought we would reach heaven. We have reached heaven. We have reached the land of reality. Thank God we are safe. We lack many things. There are many things we are missing. The language, the people, the life. Life is different. It is not easy to move from one place to another. You moved from one place to another. It takes years to move from one place to another. It doesn’t matter whether it’s about the language or the way of life. Everything is OK. It’s not easy at all. Not at all.
[i] Not at all. Do you have the feeling that the next generation, for example your children, will be able to integrate more easily into social life here?
[r] Of course, 100% lighter. The younger generation, the older generation in this country, it’s not like when you bring someone older and you sit with them in this country. First of all, children learn the language easily. They want to have friends. It becomes their upbringing in this country. You grew up here. They consider this their country. Yes. When they come to our country, of course they visit us. But they consider this their home. They grew up here. This is her home. If you ask your children to return to this country, of course they will say, “We grew up here.” Here they are more mature.
[i] Correct. Today, if they want to choose you, if they want to go to war, and now you don’t know what’s going on in Europe or in Germany, do you think that one day you will leave your country?
[r] Of course not. I’ve been to war more than once. I’ve never been to war. I’ve been to war more than once. What did we go to war for? The Germans think they come to eat and drink. We used to eat and drink better than here. But we left because of the war. And I hope there wouldn’t have been a war and we wouldn’t have left. If there had been no war, we would have each other saved from the suffering of language and stress. It is no small stress that we have gone through today. Not at all. I was in Germany during the war. Now I’m stressed. My husband is sick at home. I have to get medicine tomorrow. I have to go to school early in the morning. I have to go home. My husband is responsible for me. He is a doctor and a sick man. I’m stressed. Naturally.
[i] Because the city of Bochum is one of the most open cities to drink and we have all nationalities in Bochum. Do you consider yourself lucky to have come to the city of Bochum?
[r] That’s right. I mean, when you walk on the street, you really feel that you are not alone. Not everyone is watching you. You are wearing a hijab. No, you think that’s normal. Thank God. I feel very comfortable with that. There’s someone I know who lives in the eastern part of the city. She tells me that when I walk on the street They always look me over from head to toe. They constantly look at me and ask me what I’m wearing and what I’m wearing on my head. Although I know that Ms Mariam’s photos are all with hijab. And the old women I see in many historical films all wear a hijab. That’s not unusual. She wears a hijab. This is not unusual in their culture. Nobody comes to you and asks you what you are wearing. It can’t be that you love me just because I have one Wearing hijab makes me look like I’m an old woman. On the contrary, you have to judge me based on my work. What do I do? How do I behave? That’s it, judging me. Don’t judge me by what I wear.
[i] What do you want to tell me? and listen to it for a long time. Thank you for this opportunity and for this beautiful hadith. You have taught us so many things. I would like to end this hadith with this.
[r] I would like to end this hadith with one sentence… I hope the Germans like my idea about Muslims. I always hope that they will be rewarded. You should know that Muslims are friendly people, accepting of others and respectful. It’s not like it is portrayed in the propaganda, that they are terrorists, that they have no culture, that they come from the tents, from the mountains, and they are the most beautiful. No, Muslims are different. I ask her to come back. I ask them to watch TV shows and learn who the Muslims are or learn about our history. You should watch movies. We are against murder, bloodshed and attacks. Even if there were a war, it would only be in case you were attacked. Only. If they attacked you, they attacked me. Just like they attacked you. The most important thing is that there is no aggression. Secondly, in war we are not allowed to kill a man, kill a woman, or kill a sheikh, or one Burn tree or anything else. Our affairs are in order. But there are some people who distort the image of Islam. That’s the most important thing. That there are people who distort the image of Islam and like to tell Muslims to kill people. But I hope that all Germans will come back and try to understand the situation and change their minds. Because we deserve people to get to know us better. Not true?
[i] Thank you very much.
[r] Thank you too. Thank you everyone. And I also thank the Germans. I am very grateful to the Germans for welcoming us, supporting us and giving us security. And I hope that everyone present will respond better to this knowledge. That they work and integrate into this society. That they stay away from negative things. That they make a good picture. For their communities, for their Islam, and for their country.
[i] Thank you very much.
[r] You’re welcome.