SU_B_15

[i] Today is the February 27, 2019, I’m at [name]’s house. [name], thank you very much for taking the time and allowing the interview.
[r] I would also like to thank you.
[i] [name] hanım [lady], when you came here, did you have anything with you? A souvenir?
[r] I didn’t bring anything with me.
[i] you didn’t have anything with you?
[r] I didn’t have anything with me. I actually came as a musician for three months. I’m for one concert appearance came. Then I couldn’t go back, so I stayed.
[i] What year was that?
[r] It was the last one week in October 1977.
[i] Where have you arrived?
[r] I’m in first Herne arrived. I arrived in Herne.
[i] you arrived in Herne?
[r] [more affirmative According to]
[i] Did you stay for three months?
[r] Yes.
[i] What happened after that?
[r] I will never forget that, in Herne Gysenberg back then, I was about seventeen and a half years old. So I was a young girl, Concerts took place outside. I even have one from Willy Brandt received a bouquet. I will never forget this moment. It was a nice time. I stayed in Herne for about two years. Then I came to Bochum. I have lived here in Bochum since 1981.
[i] you have Willy Brandt mentioned. Do you have any pictures with Willy Brandt? Tell about the encounter that you had with him.
[r] No, not at all. I didn’t even know Willy Brandt when I was seventeen and a half years old. Friends saw it in the newspaper. I couldn’t follow it and was very sad about it. I was in Herne at the Police had something to do with it. The police there showed me. I was flabbergasted. In the daily newspaper, in the headline. I had such an experience. It touched me very much, I was excited.
[i] A nice memory.
[r] Yes, it was a nice experience.
[i] How did the police react when they saw your picture in the newspaper? How did they behave towards you? Positive? Negative?
[r] They responded positively, I was very pleased. I didn’t know about the article. Had something to do there. I was mentioned by name. They showed me. When they showed it to me I became very excited. I was really shocked.
[i] After that you came to Bochum?
[r] Yes, around 1981 I settled in Bochum. Since then until today.
[i] Where did you come from in Bochum?
[r] I first came to Freiligrathstrasse. I’ve had it for about a year Lived near the city park. After that I lived on Regenerstrasse for two years. I was an asylum seeker for six years. After six years I went back to Turkey.
[i] Why are you six years after that Asylum application returned to Turkey? Has your asylum application been rejected? Have you experienced difficulties?
[r] That’s how it was, my Application was rejected. I say this with sadness. Since my application was rejected, I went back to Turkey. It was then Proceedings conducted in Munich. Apart from me, there was no one from Turkey. I was the first Turkish woman to seek asylum. That’s how I experienced it. I am myself Driven to court. I took the train there and back with a friend. I experienced that.
[i] When you arrived in Bochum, what was it like?
[r] Honestly, I like Bochum a lot. I have lived here since 1984. In my current apartment on Kortumstrasse. I love Bochum very much. It’s really a quiet, orderly town. I live in the Bermuda Triangle [Area with many pubs and bars]. No matter where I go, when I come to Kortumstrasse, I feel like I’m in paradise. That’s how much I love it. So the years passed.
[i] What have you done in the six years?
[r] I made music. I was an artist.
[i] Back when you were young you had the opportunity to have one to finish school? Why do you have them? Opportunity not taken?
[r] To graduate from school you had to know German. As a musician, I focused on music. Of course there were offers. At least you could Become a nurse. I’m afraid of Syringes and blood. That’s why I was able to Don’t use training. I didn’t accept the offer.
[i] If you’re afraid of blood, of course you can’t be a nurse.
[r] I couldn’t. I even worked at the cemetery for a while. Seven to eight months, I think almost a year. I got scared then too.
[i] That’s interesting, what did you do there?
[r] I had to get up very early. The dead must be washed. In the hall they will come with you decorated with flowers, this is how the dead person is prepared. There was another lady. With her we checked the rooms. I can’t forget that. May God forgive me, but I’m afraid of dead people. It is said that you should be afraid of the living; a dead person cannot harm you. I can’t control my fear. The lady was not afraid I hid behind her. I held on to her, hiding behind her when we entered the rooms. I’ll never forget that. Once I thought she was there when I walked into a room. When I realized that she wasn’t there I ran out screaming. I told the leader that I couldn’t do it, I asked for leniency. The leader was a young man. Luckily for me, he understood. After that I didn’t go there anymore. I dreamed about the dead every night. I had the feeling they were under my bed. I always slept with the doors locked. I have experienced many fears.
[i] This thing is really interesting but also difficult. You can say: you have experienced trauma.
[r] Yes. May God forgive me for being very forward fear snakes and the dead. I can’t even stand snakes on TV. I come from Dersim, (the main settlement area of ​​the Kurdish Alevis in Turkey) There are many and also large snakes there. For example, when I was very small we took the animals to the stable. I walked very carefully, as if there were snakes everywhere. Those were my experiences. I can’t look at her. I pray to God this to take away my fears. We will all go there at some point. But I can’t help it.
[i] you mentioned Dersim. Where in Dersim were you born? Say something about it.
[r] I am from Pülümür, Dersim. From Kirkmeşe village. The old name is Göbirge. The new name is Kirkmeşe. Our village is beautiful, really like paradise. Even our significant ones People have visited our village. The late Kamer Genç. Uğur Dündar. Finally, the entire Koç family there. Our community leader is doing a really good job. He is young. May God grant him a long and healthy life. That’s the way it is. I go there every two to three years. I’m on mine Origin considered. I come from Khorasan, from the ehlibeyt family. Even if I am not pedantic about my duties, I try to keep them. May God accept it.
[i] A beautiful thing.
[r] I try to make the offering every year, fasting. I’m very happy to help. I pay attention to young and old. That’s how I am, very emotional. I never want to hurt anyone. But I did Heart often broken. They say: too good-natured. You can’t be too good-natured. But I’m also kind to people who weren’t good to me. Nevertheless, I am a soft-hearted person. That’s the way I am.
[i] That’s a nice quality. Of course people are very different and merciless.
[r] Yes.
[i] Not to lose this quality.
[r] Yes, that’s very nice. I have mine Never forget the language. When I finished first grade, my sister got sick in Istanbul. She was sick. She had many children, She brought me in to look after her children. I was eight, not even nine years old. Then I have mine Brought nephew to me. He had cancer. He’s here at forty-six died years ago. God have mercy on his soul. That was 2014, on October 16th. Poor child, wore those Pocket on the back. We were poor Family, I can say. I was wearing rubber shoes. I jumped around next to my father and shouted: yippee, I’m coming to Istanbul. I was so happy. I’ll never forget that. I arrived in Maltepe, sat on the couch. Um. The child was wearing diapers. Mine Sister always did it like that. Then I noticed crying. My sister lovingly pointed this out to me: dear sister, you are sitting on the child. I was a child myself. I lived such a life. My sister was a particularly valuable person. My brother-in-law was a cruel one Man, God bless him. For about three or four years, until I was twelve or thirteen, I lived with my sister. Then I moved to Beşiktaş to live with my brother, who was the doorman. My brother lived there. I went to mine brother and lived there. I slept on a heating floor. Sometimes mine came Mother from the village to me. If we woke up at night, excuse me, there were mice, huge cockroaches. Running around. I hugged my mother fearfully. The animals crawled out, the mice came out. I’ve had experiences like that. One day, after that, it was said Melek gets a job. So I’m there. I started working there.
[i] How old were you?
[r] I think I was about eleven years old. Was that so? Or twelve, thirteen years old.
[i] What was the factory work like?
[r] I started in the factory to work. I started. There was little, we have for twenty-five Cents of chewing gum collected in cans. My friends met once, they lived there. They collected for me and asked me to sing for them because they liked my voice. They said, “If we were you, we wouldn’t work here.” I was a very well-behaved and well-behaved young girl. I had built up such an image of myself. Our superiors were I think Jewish or Armenian siblings. Very cute and valuable They were people. They always called me a Kurdish girl. “Smile a little,” they said. Families trusted me with theirs Daughters to take care of. I was accepted far and wide as very trustworthy. Friends pushed me to take part in a competition. They drew my attention to the notice. I had no idea how to do this. And my wife Brother’s died at that time. God have mercy on her soul, she too was a tyrant. It is said: “If you run away from the rain and in You get hail […]” […then you get caught in the hail?] I am in front of a tyrannical Brother in law ran away and am a tyrannical one Sister-in-law advised. Nevertheless, God have mercy on her soul. They went over. I’m sure that they had to give an account in the afterlife. Through wickedness nothing is left. Only goodness and beauty are my alternative courses of action. Because I think like that, I expect the same from everyone. Unfortunately, not everyone is like that. In order not to disappoint my friends, I went to the competition. I was still successful as a child. In Beyoglu [capital of the same name district of the Turkish province of İstanbul] the performance took place. I should be thirty Sell ​​tickets. There weren’t that many television programs back then. There was something, what was the name again?
[i] TRT [Turkish State Television].
[r] It was still in black and white. So there was TRT, that’s where I went. The competition was held at the Gari Casino in Istanbul. I took part in that. Even before the competition, I was on stage at weddings with my beautiful voice. Like I said, I was a young girl. So I was able to deal with the excitement a bit. At the competition I ended up performing like a skilled artist at the Gari Casino. Everyone was allowed to perform a song. At that time I heard from Muhlis Akarsu, God bless him, may he rest in peace, Ne sevdiğin belli ne sevmediğin [You know what you like what you don’t like] presented. Then the jury said, if you’re still alive, greetings. If they have already died, God bless them. Fatma Türkan Yamaci and Ahmet Yamaci The jury consisted of this couple, as far as I can remember. One day I met Zeki Müren [poet, composer, Nickname: “Sun of Art”], God bless him, from the POP Ajda Pekan area, and we from the Turkish folk music area Fatma Türkan Yamaci and Ahmet Yamaci. Then I performed. It was beautiful, even mine Supervisors were there. Also my sister-in-law, the one who oppressed me sat at the front. The competition went very well. As far as I can remember, I was thirty-first in line. I came first in the competition. We had relatives who were also artists. They invited me. My brother-in-law was a poet and she said that I had a beautiful voice. I had such an experience. Two or three of us came here. As I said, I came to Herne first. Because of my misery, I thought it could be a way out of the poverty and misery. A tyrannical sister-in-law. Sometimes I would come home from work hungry and go to bed like that. I gave away what I earned. I was a child and couldn’t defend myself. She was a strong person. If only she wasn’t. Once it happened like this lived in Sivas Brother named Ramazan. He once told me: “Your bad fate will overtake you there.” I thought to myself, go and save yourself. Germany was called promise. So I came. About one to one and a half I lived with a family for years. I experienced a lot of bad things there too. They used up all my earnings.
[i] Was it a German family?
[r] It was a Turkish one Family who brought me here. I have also experienced a lot of villainy from them. They took all my earnings. They took everything out of my hands. They got rich in a short period of time on my back. For example, we have been doing this since Years of New Year’s events. There were complaints from the neighborhood. The police came. They came, they have them Atmosphere seen. They joined us and drank raki with us. The atmosphere was very nice. The program was nice. These are my experiences. Although I was alone, I had many relatives here. My aunt, my cousin. I live in Cologne Uncle and his children. I got married in 1987. I also suffered a lot because of him.
[i] Who did you marry?
[r] Please?
[i] Was he a Acquaintance or relative?
[r] He came from Erzincan, but was originally from Dersim. He was really crazy and insane. Honestly, I’m grateful to be out of this relationship. The psychologist recommended two years of treatment. Of course I didn’t know that. We knew each other from the Türkiye since we were little. That he was such a bad one I had no idea he could be human. In the five years of marriage I have experienced hell. I am freed from him. I didn’t get married for eight years. Then I brought someone from home. He turned out to be like my ex-husband.
[i] What year was that?
[r] Which year? That was 19… In 1999 my mother died. It was 1998. Was it 1998? Was it 1978? 1978, could it have been 1987? It was 1987, 1988. Yes, it was 1988, June 31st. 1989 My mother died, no, not. I’m confused.
[i] Eight years after the separation.
[r] After the separation, I didn’t get married for eight years. After about eight years, In 1990 I separated from my husband.
[i] That must have been 1998.
[r] Yes 1998, right. I got married in 1998. In 1999 my mother died. Yes, I got married on July 31, 1998. I got him from Turkey. He was irresponsible. He also made me suffer a lot. Around 2005 I got divorced. In Turkey I was not yet divorced. He arranged through others, so we stayed married for some time. I let myself be persuaded and gave him another chance, but it didn’t work out. It was coming to an end. Since then I have lived alone with my child.
[i] you have a daughter.
[r] I have a daughter.
[i] How old is she, what is she doing?
[r] She is seventeen. She goes to school, has the thirteenth grade Class finished. Now she’s three Do an apprenticeship in Wattenscheid for years. She wants to be with the City of Bochum work. God willing. I hope she is successful.
[i] As a civil servant?
[r] Yes as a civil servant.
[i] I wish you much success. You said you have here Family, uncles and aunts. How is your relationship?
[r] We see each other. We visit each other. We visited each other for a while. Everyone has their own Tasks, problems. After separating from my first husband, I got mine brought brother here. In 1990. In 1991 I met my deceased Nephew brought here. In 1992 I brought my older nephew here. Everyone has their own Took an apartment. Everyone has theirs Work, tasks.
[i] Do you have family in Bochum?
[r] At the beginning of mine My brother lives on the street.
[i] Do you have other relatives?
[r] You are in Cologne, in A brother lives in Bielefeld. He went back to Turkey. He got cancer and was operated on. Two years ago he went to Turkey permanently. Now he lives in Istanbul. It’s a miracle. The doctors gave him six months. Thank God two years have passed since then. He is doing well in Turkey. He is being treated.
[i] You came from Herne to Bochum.
[r] I’m from Herne to Bochum, yes. It was easy back then Find an apartment? And then?
[r] There was luck in it. When I came from Turkey in 1984, I stayed for about one month with a friend. After a month I found this apartment immediately, where I live now. Since 1984 I live here. I’m quite satisfied. The House belonged to a German. Then a Yugoslavian bought the house. That’s after him Owner a Turk. We’ll manage.
[i] How is your relationship with your neighbors? If you’ve lived here for so long, you are actually the owner.
[r] Yes. That’s right, I should have bought this house. Unfortunately that didn’t work. It’s almost forty years. I can’t calculate. I have very good communication with the neighbors. I’ll be in mine Environment liked and respected. Also in the musical environment. Almost everyone I’ve worked with, including Mahsuni Serif, God rest his soul. With the late Neşet Ertas ağbi [polite salutation] I worked together for a very long time. With Müslim Gürses, I have about two months worked at the same club. Afterwards with Suat Sayin, God bless them all! They were very good people. They were always polite to me. I was very well liked. Concerts used to be something special. One can say: there is a lack of respect for art. Why? Because everyone opens an event hall. discos. Today’s youth prefer something like that. I also used to do organizational tasks at weddings and concerts. There were at least three artists per wedding. Oriyan Tali, for example. With masters of their craft. With Davul and Zurna [Drum and Clarion]. The cameramen, the photographers. I organized everything at weddings. But today that doesn’t exist.
[i] Could this also partly depend on interests? Because the Technology has changed the youth can you say, that themselves Can give concerts. Technically can do it yourself. Therefore, if I’m not mistaken, it could have more to do with different environments. In the past it wasn’t possible. You could only hear a piece of music or an artist at a concert. Today everyone can listen to music anywhere they want. It has more to do with that.
[r] To be honest, I don’t like today’s music at all. Not just me, also the music, everyone important Artist complains. For example in wedding halls amateurs appear, Amateur orchestras perform. For me as an artist it is very important. I can with a darbuka create an entire program. Unfortunately there will be waitressing in the salons today. Then playback is played from the music genre pop. This is how people get cheated. For example, weddings or Concerts I organized was additional for Davul and Zurna up to 900 euros additionally given. Today it goes like this: One piece comes with Drum decorated then it will Added Zurna. This is how they will be deceived people. That hurts a lot. Music is not there. I used to had a repertoire of around 1200 titles. I have a different one everywhere, another program set up. To my regret you will come along Playback programs fobbed off. With reading Pieces are performed. We weren’t like that. When a new piece came along, people wanted to hear it, I presented it. listened to us, bought the album, wrote it down for ourselves. Then we played it together a few times. This was the third time we performed the piece. Unfortunately, very valuable artists have left us. You can’t live off it anymore. It’s over.
[i] When you were young you had dreams. What dreams did you have?
[r] Of course I had dreams. I’m disappointed, God forgive me. God assigned this to me. I couldn’t put in any more effort. My two marriages the wrong people in mine Life. I was cheated many times. My good nature was often taken advantage of. That’s how I can say it. If someone wanted money, I have, even if I had no money, I have my money, Gold surrendered. To help the person. But unfortunately they were all sneaky. They gave nothing back. I’ve lost everything. I own nothing.
[i] One can say, what you dreamed of
[r] I couldn’t realize it.
[i] You couldn’t realize it. Is there anything you are proud of?
[r] [sound of agreement]
[i] Do you have such a memory?
[r] I’m proud of myself. I have had two marriages didn’t get any benefit from it. That’s how I can say it. If I put something in my head If you put your head down, I’ll implement it. These are good things. I also have a herniated disc. I am very loved musically. In terms of character, I am loved and honored. That makes me proud. I may have lost a lot materially, but at least I’m proud of mine Honesty, independence. That’s a beautiful thing.
[i] How about the German one? Society got along?
[r] My former ones Neighbors were German; two different married couples each lived in this house for fifteen years. They liked me very much. They were very valuable people. The husbands got prostate cancer and didn’t return from the hospital. The women have moved out, because the apartment was too big. I am loved and honored. For example, everyone who moved in or moved out. I am reliable in everything. Even if I go hungry, rent, etc. , I always pay. I always paid.
[i] you said, that you are traditional.
[r] Yes.
[i] How do you implement it?
[r] I find it here. I came here when I was seventeen and a half years old. My ID card shows me to be five years older. Actually, I’m on Born April 15, 1959. I came to Germany when I was seventeen and a half years old. I’m trying I try to apply what I learned at home. I’m going to the Cem prayer houses, take care of my child. Try to do my duties. Trying to teach my daughter a positive view of people. Not to exclude anyone. Try mine To convey basic values. I try to apply them.
[i] Do you have something with that? Alevi association to do?
[r] I am in contact with him Association. I like to go there. For example, I fast according to our rules. Go there every evening, break our fast with that Dede [Alevi Imam]. We live in a very familiar, close community. After fasting, I make my offerings, prepare Aşure. I donate as much as I can. These are beautiful things. I respect other views.
[i] Can you say that there Are people of your origin? Alevis from Dersim?
[r] No, they come from everywhere. Also Sunni Siblings come. If we, for example Aşure have. In the Cem House will be Aşure prepared. Many brothers and sisters from the mosques visit us. Our ladies prepared Aşure there. They have repeatedly praised our Aşure. We taught them. They did it together.
[i] What do you say about interreligious dialogues?
[r] Of course. There must be no difference can be made. I am against discrimination. We as Alevis, to my regret, were very oppressed and humiliated. Have experienced a lot of slander. Experienced lies.
[i] As an Alevi and as a woman in Turkey and here you have because you are an Alevi Experienced oppression?
[r] Oppression?
[i] Oppression or exclusion?
[r] Yes, of course. I’ll give an example. I’m in Velbert Mercedes worked. The colleagues came from Kütahya, Zonguldak, They came from every region, generally they were Turks. They did, they knew me as an artist. I left in the morning after the performances, after two or three programs, without sleep in my costume, made up, I went to the factory. There I changed clothes and worked. The superiors knew that I was an artist. Thereafter, they fasted for Ramadan, I had respect for it. One day I was fasting at Harem. I was asked why I didn’t eat with them during break. I replied that I was fasting. I was asked what fasting it would be. I answered: The Muharrem fast [Expressing solidarity with Imam Hüseyin]. “Oh, you are Alevitic?” they said. Most of the girls were uneducated. I answered yes. Then a discussion started. The discussion became strange. Here he says: My father is yours Your fan, my mother is your fan. I replied that they were making inappropriate comments. That hurt me very much. There was another Alevi woman. She wore a necklace with one Sword pendant [Alevi symbol]. She wore it covered up, under her sweater. That made me very sad. I told these people what was necessary. Go and tell yours Parents who admire me and greet them and tell them, that they didn’t raise you well! It is obvious that you were taught exclusion. Open a book, learn what Alevism means. Where does it come from? Excuse me, but you slander. Such an unfair one I experienced treatment. That hurt me deeply. One day while organizing a wedding. The groom was from Dersim, the bride was from Sinop as far as I remember. I don’t remember this well: the bride was told that among Alevis the father of the groom would sleep with the bride before the wedding. The bride loved the groom very much, she loved him very much. She could face her Do not open fiancé. Because she loved him so much, she stayed with him anyway. We met at a concert. The Groom told me what had happened. The bride has these incredible ones Defamations confessed. What decent people you are, it’s not true what you would teach them. I can’t forget these things and I still experience things like that. The Sivas massacre, from Corum. There was also the Maras massacre. What was the crime of these people? These were made by ignorant people committed by fanatics. You are uneducated no brain. The brain doesn’t work. If it would work, They wouldn’t do something like that! To be in harmony and To be able to live brotherhood, for example, we lived together with our Sunni neighbors. Nobody excluded you as an Alevi or as a Sunni. During the Sivas massacre, in a district of Erzincan, they burned some people alive. It still affects me a lot when I think about it. I get so sad that I can’t hold back the tears. What did these have? people committed crimes? Enough is enough, it should be over. Really! There should be peace, humanity should apply, everyone should hug each other. Leaders should be careful There should be unity. Truth should apply. But unfortunately the wrong things are followed. There are so many who are after the wrong people. That bothers me.
[i] Isn’t it more about these people living in a comfortable, live in a democratic country? Live in this country and carry their despotic, traditional views here? Where does that come from?
[r] Out of ignorance I think. I swear it’s based on lack Culture. I really see it that way. Because if you don’t have an education, not everyone who went to school has an education. There are so many ignorant people. Please excuse me, I have anyone and everyone Culture towards respect. It is well known that people from Tuncelli are among the most educated. Have you ever heard that it is in Tuncelli did something so wrong? A year or two ago a disabled child raped another disabled person. The entire population in Dersim has risen against it. And both are disabled. They even wanted to lynch this child. Everyone spoke out against it. Why? Because they are smart. On the other hand, I have in front of everyone Righteous Hoca, Haci Respect, I bow to them. Unfortunately God there are so many fools there. They lead people in the wrong direction. Whether you want to or not, If you don’t turn on your brain, you’ll run after them. to seek the truth yourself, they are not able to do that. If they were educated, knew the world, there would be no bad person. I don’t like the situation in Türkiye lately. For example, I would like to go to Turkey in the near future, but it scares me. Before that, we were able to sleep in the open air in our villages, outside the entrance. But today everyone is afraid. When I go to the village I only stay ten to fifteen days because I’m afraid. Is there anything worse?
[i] you’re right, it has to do with ignorance. Lack of decency and lack of education. But in this case I also miss knowledge among the educated.
[r] Do you mean Europeans or our people?
[i] People from Turkey living in Europe. Because the Europeans are not an issue for us. We experience oppression through our people. There is social pressure in Europe.
[r] But our people […]
[i] If the new government had the opportunity, it would want to use the Erdogan system here too. They have that idea. Where does that come from?
[r] To be honest, I don’t like Erdogan’s concept at all. People should finally come to their senses. Unity is required, no one can lead Turkey as an individual. Turkey does not belong to him alone. Turkey belongs to all of us. Alevis, Kurds, Lazs, Circassians, really… this land belongs to every kind of person. There are so many poor people there Man, that makes me sad. And there are still so many impossibly uneducated people. Yesterday, for example, I looked on the Internet and saw a young woman somewhere on a street in Antalya interviewing young people about their views. Even if she wants to question her, no one will stop. I would have liked to say: “Stay there.” She might or might not question three out of a hundred. The girl was probably ashamed too because she couldn’t carry out her report. Nobody wants to answer questions. I don’t think that’s good. Everything is the same. In fact, the same people have been running Turkey for sixteen or seventeen years. Give someone else a chance. What could he do? I don’t agree with them. I don’t share your opinion that you should actually act wisely and thoughtfully.
[i] Let’s return to Bochum. So you’ve been living in Bochum since 1984. These are now… You are considered a Bochum native.
[r] You can say.
[i] As you probably know: Germany is a bureaucracy. How would you comment on this?
[r] I have to say with German I’m not particularly into politics.
[i] I mean daily life. What you generally Calls paperwork. Paperwork [in Turkish], Letters come from everywhere.
[r] To be honest, I’m at my wits’ end on this point.
[i] Please tell us something about this.
[r] I’m at the end, I don’t know much German. I can’t read it, can’t figure out what it’s about. That’s why I’m looking for valuable people like you who are employed by the city. You are helping us. We really benefit from you. I would like to thank you a thousand times over for this. That’s why I’m experiencing great difficulties on this point. That’s how I would put it. I’m desperate.
[i] Can you put it like this: The Order is good here, the bureaucracy.
[r] Yes. It bothers us a lot.
[i] Right, you mentioned this: You get help from others. Can your daughter help with this?
[r] My daughter doesn’t understand everything. She tries to explain it to me but she doesn’t understand everything either. No matter how smart she is, she can’t help like her. Again I’m the one who has to make an effort. That made me very tired.
[i] You are an artist.
[r] Yes.
[i] What bond have you about German culture?
[r] To be honest, there is the Backwerk cafeteria here. Every second, third I’m going there one day. I like to sit there, sometimes I sit with friends. Even with Germans We meet friends there. Everyone writes to me about Erdogan. Some Erdogan supporters treat you coldly. That’s how I feel. You can break down barriers by talking. There are beautiful ones coming conversations happen. I can’t communicate very well though.
[i] I ask more about cultural things, museums. Do you visit the playhouse, cinemas, theater?
[r] Honestly, no. Why? Because it’s not financially enough.
[i] Because your budget isn’t enough?
[r] I would like to, would like to be beautiful Go to places. I would like to live well. Unfortunately this is not possible. My income is just enough to cover the running costs. I have a child, a car. That’s why there’s not much left.
[i] There’s not much left over for social activities, you say?
[r] That’s it.
[i] There are also many free ones. What do you like most about Bochum?
[r] For example, I would like everyone Go swimming in Gysenberg for a week. The swimming pool I really like Gysenberg. When I was still working, I was able to go there often. When I was still making music. I can’t go there at the moment. Since becoming a mother, I haven’t been able to go. Yes.
[i] Are there others? Places where you like to go?
[r] If I had the opportunity, I would, for example, fill up my car. My daughter sometimes jokes around: Mom, feed our car. I act according to my budget. Of course I would like to go to Cologne, Düsseldorf or Dortmund with my daughter. I can only afford something like this once a year at most.
[i] What part of You don’t like Bochum at all? Which part of Would that be Bochum? If it wasn’t in Bochum, it could be better.
[r] I like Bochum very much because it is clean. I live right in the city. Above all, there is a beautiful order here. For example if Bochum Totally [music festival] is going on, it’s so crowded. There is a lot of drinking. Even though they drink, there is no riot. I can with mine daughter go. In Turkey would Incidents of abuse, other incidents occur. But there is no such thing here. Yes, well, through the Syrian ones There have been some incidents involving refugees. My neighbors downstairs are Syrian, but they are very pleasant. I can do without it Concern carrying my handbag. You can until midnight, be outside at one or two o’clock. Actually, I’m in bed by 10 p. m.
[i] you want to say: In Germany do you feel safe?
[r] We are sure That’s how I see it.
[i] That sounds good. What concerns and fears do you have?
[r] I don’t understand.
[i] Concerning the future.
[r] For example, I will soon be retired. My daughter will get married someday. She will make a home for herself when she finishes school, God willing. I would like four to five Live in Turkey for months. I won’t be able to go there under these conditions. I have fears. So I’ll have to pass my time somehow.
[i] What does your daily life look like?
[r] When I get up in the morning I don’t feel so good. I get up late because of my symptoms. Sometimes I feel like a bird. Sometimes I can’t get up, I do the housework. With paperwork and I do shopping. Then I sit with you Friends at Backwerk.
[i] Which baked goods do you mean?
[r] Opposite the fish shop.
[i] I see, opposite our fish shop.
[r] Turn right after the traffic lights, not the one with you.
[i] Yes.
[r] We used to go there. The prices suit everyone. The coffee is also very tasty. It’s not just because You also have coffee at home. For a change.
[i] The coffee is just one Pretext?
[r] That’s it. Friends come, chat. About talking here and there. This is how I spend my days. I’m coming home, watch news. I never miss any news. I’m interested in what’s happening in the world.
[i] you wanted to get away from it Family, now you want to go back. Where do your parents live, Siblings? How many do you have?
[r] My parents: Mine Father died in 1997. On March 3rd. My mother died in 1999. In October, also on the 3rd My parents are no more.
[i] How many Are you siblings?
[r] We are six siblings. In 2014 my sister and eldest passed away. A brother lived in Germany, he went to Turkey. A sister lives in Ankara. In the summer she goes to our house in the village. I have a brother in Yalova. We were six. One died. Five remained. Then one still lives Brother on my street.
[i] How is your relationship with your siblings in Turkey? Can you see each other?
[r] We have good contact. We are very polite to each other, very respectful. We love each other, have close ties. Unfortunately we are so far apart. I can go every other year. I meet my brother every now and then. He has had two heart operations. That’s the way it is. We communicate with our relatives from far away.
[i] About technical media.
[r] That’s it. I have a large family both in Turkey and here.
[i] You mentioned your marriages. I would like to ask something: Have you ever been in love?
[r] The first man, whom I married, I shared a childhood love with him. My sister, my brother-in-law and I went to the cinema that time. A friend of mine comes from his village. He ordered us this and that there. going out together, There was no flirting. I couldn’t get to know him. I was about thirteen years old. It’s not called love for children for nothing. Years later, he lived in Holland, we came together. The wedding took place in Turkey. Unfortunately, he turned out to be very sick. Fate. A sensible woman would never allow her home to be destroyed. But unfortunately, if it’s unbearable, you have to end it.
[i] Which means Identity for you?
[r] Excuse me?
[i] How would you introduce yourself?
[r] Now?
[i] Generally.
[r] I don’t feel complete. I have Difficulties that make me sad. Being alone is the real closeness to God. I have no ideas nor any need for a man. I don’t think there are any decent, honest people left. It is said: the one who is coming, lets look for the last one. I have fears. I live with mine daughter together.
[i] I had that Question meant like this: You were a child when you came here.
[r] Yes.
[i] Since 1976 and You live here in 1984.
[r] Since 1977.
[i] Every year, despite the adverse situation.
[r] I couldn’t go there for six years.
[i] Nevertheless, you go to Turkey regularly. What do you perceive yourself to be? Turkish? German? For many it is like this: Here they are Foreigners, there they are “Germans”. How do you feel about it? How do you see it, how do you see society. I can say: With my bad German, if I have to go to an authority, I’m trying to communicate. Of course it gets difficult here and there. I wish I had learned German as well as I learned Turkish. My situation would have been different. You can also experience a lot in Turkey. I can’t handle the money. Or you inevitably experience a lot. How nice it would be if you could live like you do here in your own country. Nevertheless, I don’t find it very difficult.
[i] Where do you feel more like you belong?
[r] Of course I miss them Türkiye, it is our homeland. We miss the relatives. If I’m there longer, I miss Germany. I can say that this has also become home. It becomes more important.
[i] As a woman, how do you assess your hurdles? Apart from that as Foreigner, as a woman? The difficulties experienced here or in Turkey.
[r] As a woman I feel especially the paperwork since years as particularly difficult. I’m tired. Even when I was married, I had to do everything myself. It is said: I am both the man and the woman. I’m tired, I’ve been working since I was a child. That’s the way it is.
[i] What jobs did you do in Germany?
[r] In Germany have a year with Red crescent worked
[i] At the German Red Germans?
[r] Yes, a year.
[i] German Red Cross?
[r] Yes, with the German Red Cross.
[i] What did you do there?
[r] Goods arrived and we sorted them. How have customers helped? they forwarded To the social welfare office, for example or here or there. If necessary, we have given them a letter.
[i] How long have Did you work there?
[r] One year.
[i] Why did you stop?
[r] I worked there for a year, then I fell ill and had to have a nail removed. My foot hurt very much. I was fired. Actually, they only let you work for a year. For a while, half a time I worked at Bergmannsheil [hospital in Bochum] for a year or so. I worked at Kochlöffel for around four to five months. It was right across from you. Where the Arabs are now. Where the Syrians are now. That was wooden spoon. There was chicken there. I worked there. About five to six months. Then I worked in the Mercedes factory for thirteen years.
[i] Which one?
[r] In Velbert. I made individual parts.
[i] How did the separation come about?
[r] After my daughter was born I slipped. In the morning on the way to work. I slipped and fell. It was only after work that I started feeling severe pain. My left leg swelled and turned blue. I came to the hospital. I was on sick leave for three months. Then they fired me. My child was exhausted, there was no one there, who took care of her. She needed me. A woman looked after her in kindergarten. What was her name? I don’t know if she was Greek? No, she was Russian. When she picked up my daughter from kindergarten, she cried terribly. Why her mom doesn’t pick her up. Because of this I didn’t fight for it. It wasn’t more important than my child. The factory later moved. Yesterday I met a former work colleague. The company hasn’t existed for years. She has been sold. It was on shaky ground anyway.
[i] Have you ever thought about getting back into music as your real job?
[r] The reason I didn’t think about it is because my vocal cords are broken. I have some complaints. That affected me very deeply. Through the reflex I have lost my voice. My voice was very good, I can say. When my voice was gone, that made me very sad. I haven’t been going to concerts for about ten years. I occasionally go to weddings. I go to weddings and Fine television broadcasts gone. After that I took a break. Last year I had stomach surgery.
[i] This is of course sad, when you can no longer do your job.
[r] Yes, I love my job. If I were to come into the world again, God willing, I want to be an artist again. But this time I want to enjoy my youth.
[i] you want to do it differently, you say. [laughs]
[r] [laughs] I will use my time differently.
[i] No fake ones Decisions anymore?
[r] Yes. This time I won’t give up my rights to anyone. Likewise, I will not allow myself to be taken advantage of.
[i] Go your own way confidently and safely?
[r] Yes.
[i] With a clear goal in mind?
[r] Exactly. I still get requests but I can’t. This is a live broadcast. Because my voice is gone, it doesn’t work. That makes me sad.
[i] If you still remember the piece, that got you first place, could you sing it to us? If you still remember the text.
[r] What?
[i] The piece, which brought you victory. Ey sevdiğim sana şikayetim var. [Oh, my beloved, I have a complaint for you.] Ne sevdiğin belli ne sevmediğin. [It’s clear what you like and what you don’t like.] Bende bir insanım birde başım var. [I am also human and also have a head.] Ne sevdiğin belli ne sevmediğin oy oy. [What you like is clear, what you don’t like is also clear.] Zalimsin oy oy Hainsin oy oy nedeyim oy oy. [You are cruel, you are a traitor, what should I do?] Ne sevdiğim belli, ne sevmediğim oy oy. [What I like is clear, what I don’t like is a no.] Zalimsin oy oy hainsin oy oy nedeyim oy oy. [You are cruel, you are a traitor, what should I do?]
[i] Thank you very much, your voice is still very beautiful!
[r] The voice is good, but I can only do a quarter of what I do Use voice. I have many Records broken. I have a strong voice. God willing, I thought about making an album. Or a video clip. But that’s expensive, I don’t have one who supports me. If there was a supporter, a lot could be done. You could do playback. Then you don’t need to sing live. I couldn’t keep what I had, now it is like this.
[i] Because of the language barrier you couldn’t do any training.
[r] I didn’t think about it because I didn’t have time for it.
[i] And you were working back then.
[r] Yes, I worked.
[i] You had other plans.
[i] Let’s get to the point “Leave Türkiye” come. You had to Leave Türkiye.
[r] Yes.
[i] You applied for asylum here.
[r] [sound of agreement]
[i] Say something about it. Which Have you experienced any difficulties?
[r] After I got out of the Türkiye came or in Turkey?
[i] In Turkey and here.
[r] In Turkey […]
[i] you were still a child.
[r] Yes, I was still a child. Of course I had longings. I arrived here, then I have it endure difficulties well.
[i] How was arriving? So you are a child. How did your mother, your father reacts to this? What’s wrong with yours? Sister said that?
[r] My father lived in the village anyway. My mother, I lived with my brother in Istanbul. We were very poor. I went there, for example read or did a program. One day… The deceased Nurettin Dadaloğlu was there, I presented. I read in a restaurant, my daughter was under the table? You probably know Nurettin Dadaloğlu, he is a big voice. He comes from Erzincan [inhabited predominantly by Armenians before 1915]. He said he’s out either Bayburt or Erzincan. He said, that he would like to visit us at home. So we arrived here. I confessed to him in shame that we are caretakers. He became sad, took me in his arms and said: “My daughter, do you know: Got my kicks, help me tie the laces, I’m leaving Bayburt’s mountains. This piece is mine, do you know that?” We cried together. We went into the apartment together. I entertained him. This I will never forget the experience. I came with my brother-in-law and someone else from his village, he was my father’s age. His wife had told him rumors about me that he wanted me as a I brought my second wife here. I’ve experienced a lot, bad things. The slander hurt me deeply. I was decent. I never allowed such approaches. But they took my money. You were very bad to me, may God not forgive them. As far as I know, they lost it again. Everyone will have to face the consequences of their actions. I stayed there for about a year, then I rented my own apartment. In Bochum, in the Freiligrathstrasse. I’ve lived here ever since. The slander and gossip were hard to bear. They took everything from me, I couldn’t defend myself. They treated me badly, they beat me. I’ve experienced very bad things. I don’t want to think about it.
[i] What was your parents’ reaction to you wanting to leave?
[r] My parents, mine Father lived in the village. We were never able to bring him into town. My mother lived with a tyrannical aunt. She trusted them, gave me away, so to speak. That’s how she entrusted me to them.
[i] You could say, to give you a chance, did they give you away?
[r] That’s exactly how it was.
[i] Please forgive me for digging so deep. But these experiences are important.
[r] You cannot deny the experiences.
[i] Yes.
[r] I had a difficult time.
[i] A heavy one You have experienced time. You can say it has yours future determined.
[r] That’s it.
[i] These difficulties have hindered you. With your resources, in Germany… You would have that can learn language. You could have gotten training.
[r] That’s it. I was kept small, I was under their influence for six years. That’s how my life was.
[i] Have you ever thought about it? to get help? Maybe from the youth welfare office? Did you know about the possibility?
[r] No, I didn’t know my rights and was prevented from doing so. I was the golden goose. Would they let someone else do it? Would they allow it to become aware of this? That’s how they kept me.
[i] Your other relatives, didn’t you ask her for help?
[r] My other relatives? I couldn’t open up to anyone, couldn’t say it. I didn’t say it. For example Came my aunt [maternal] and took me with him to Konstanz. Her children also made music, so we can make music together. I should be like one Housemaids look after them. She gave me one Apartment rented. After some time I came back here. It was very difficult for me to cancel registration. There were thirty kilometers Limitation for asylum seekers. So I came back, commissioned lawyers and registered here again. I lost about a year, because I trusted my aunt. I didn’t think I’d distrust her. She invested all of her earnings in gold. That was also a blow. I only met her in Germany.
[i] True, Relatives can also exploit you.
[r] That’s it.
[i] you have this Lost trust in people.
[r] Unfortunately, I no longer have any trust. In the end she tried to destroy my self-confidence. “Go work in a factory, none of our family will become musicians.” God’s gift, my voice, why shouldn’t I use it? Why shouldn’t I use it? I ended up taking her advice and working in the factory.
[i] Given these hurdles, you are still fighting alone.
[r] Yes, I’ll hold on.
[i] You raised your daughter alone, that’s great. What do you want for your daughter? Let me ask you this: Where would you like to see your daughter in twenty years?
[r] For mine I would like my daughter to continue my work, that she will be a good musician. I’ve been sending her to Saz [long-necked vocals] classes since elementary school. She continues it. But not in the way I would like. I have the impression that she doesn’t enjoy me forcing her that much. Sometimes she takes matters into her own hands and plays. Before music comes school. She should have both: one Being a career and a musician. If one thing doesn’t work, can she do the other thing? I try to encourage her to take advantage of the opportunity to support her as much as possible. She’s polite, everyone likes her, she’s respectful. Many people can’t even say welcome when there are visitors, for example. I’ll open it Pay attention to dangers. There are a lot of bad people. That she doesn’t take strangers into her apartment and refers strangers to me. She welcomes the guests, entertains them, calls me until I come.
[i] That’s nice how you raise them. If I don’t make a mistake you will, when you retire, to Turkey. Live in Turkey for a while?
[r] That’s it.
[i] Why?
[r] I have many relatives there. We’ve missed each other, my cousins ​​and I, for years. I see your posts, I’m drawn to them. Over the Internet we hear from each other. They also ask when I will return from abroad. I have a very large family. My daughter, my brother is very respectful to me, he is respected by people. He was even reported on in German newspapers. He was married to someone from Konya as the most attractive and nicest boy He is also very respectful towards me. I really have an honest brother. May God grant you health and a long life.
[i] After retirement, where do you want to live? In the Village or in the city?
[r] I would like to stay in the village for about a month. I would like to live in the village, we have a house there. The state built it after the earthquake. I have liked Istanbul since my childhood. I want to live in Istanbul.
[i] You did Relatives in Istanbul?
[r] I have many relatives in Istanbul.
[i] Do you have an apartment there?
[r] Please?
[i] Do you have an apartment there?
[r] I’m thinking about it, but who knows.
[i] Are you hoping to win the lottery?
[r] As I said, I was cheated on a lot. I’ve been scammed many times when it comes to buying a house.
[i] I understand.
[r] That’s it.
[i] For a time, religious institutions have deceived people. Do you mean those?
[r] That was 1999. Demirel [Turkish politician] had laid the foundation for this. I had two want to buy houses. The money and the house are gone. I paid it off. Then you should save some more… I had it done by Turks. They cheated too. Since about nine to ten The proceedings have been going on for years. Finally it was decided that nothing could be done, the insurance has expired. That didn’t happen either. That also left a deep wound. It was a lot of money, everything is gone.
[i] You are often in Turkish company. If you tell Germans that you are from Turkey, that you are Alevi. Everyone used to be for Germans Turks and Sunnis. If you consider yourself as Alevite, or as Zaza speakers a Kurdish woman, what is the reaction?
[r] This has now arrived in Europe: There are many studies about Alevis. Many accept Alevism, just Tayip Erdogan doesn’t want to accept it. That’s his problem. Germans say to me, why I am not veiled, that I am modern. I try to explain it to you as much as I can. The Turks weren’t quite so conservative in the past, I explain. According to Erdogan, through his wife, Concealment became more modern. I introduce myself as an Alevi Turkish woman. Alevis are modern, more democratic people. That’s the way I am. Many people know me as an Alevi. That’s the way it is.
[i] It’s nice that you can live somewhere else the freedom that you are denied in your country.
[r] They complain about why they are so conservative. I say that’s their way. It’s not like that with us. We have ours too Ideas of custom. But it has to look like this.
[i] [name], thank you very much. They have all mine Questions answered honestly.
[r] With pleasure. I was also very happy.
[i] That was a very nice one Interview.
[r] Thank you very much.
[i] That I was allowed to come home to you. And I wish you in the next Life success and happiness.
[r] Thank you very much. I would also like to thank you, you are welcome.